Sunday, September 30, 2007

Thinking outside the box

You may not have guessed this, but I'm not much of a titty-bar guy. Sure, I've been dragged along on a bachelor party night - I actually got a "private dance" once. It's very weird. Do you know how those things work?? The dancer put me in a chair in that little room and the proceeded to rub up and down in between my legs. I'm probably not explaining that well, but I mean she basically is rubbing her tits on my crotch. I was getting so bored I finally had to tell her I was primarily same-sex oriented and asked if maybe she could actually dance around a little bit for me. I mean really, that's what I paid for.

And she smelled like cotton candy. Is that hot for straight guys?

Anyway, nobody was more surprised than I was when, after a few drinks out on Park Ave with the Frat Pack, it was announced that the next stop was Bouzouki II. "The Deuce."

Do this when you say "the deuce"

Bouzouki II, née "The Grind," is located at the northernmost point of downtown Detroit's final frontier, Capitol Park. It's really just like a little brick box, across from the downtown synagogue and that weird speakeasy place that is open once a week but nobody I know has visited. It's a total dive, at least as far as strip joints go. It's practically an ultra-lounge compared to regular dive bars like The Well, but it definitely lacks some of the slickness of the clubs I visited on my bachelor party sojourns.

That is potentially a poor word choice.

All I can say is that it was awesome. It was a Thursday night, and we pretty much had the place to ourselves. There is just a tiny two-pole stage in the middle of the bar, so you are never far from the action. The music was typically bad, but it added to the charm. The dancers were way more attractive than I thought they would be. Someone bought shots. There is something about having a place all to yourself that is somewhat empowering. Even though there were only about ten customers there, the energy level was high.

The dancers were great - have you ever seen those girls work a pole? It's unbelievable. They were incredibly fit, and I was continually amazed at their acrobatics. It was like that Wonder Woman drag show kind of showbiz amazement. I really enjoyed watching them.

(artist's rendering)

We got to meet all of the performers which is, of course, always a thrill. Cinnamon spent a lot of time at our table. She was an interesting young lady, in the way that people trying to act sophisticated when they are not is interesting. I had a whole Pygmalian fantasy about her while we were chatting - I could make her a stripper superstar! My favorite part of that conversation was when she started talking about how hot it was in there, and how thirsty she was, and everyone at our table just kind of looked away in awkward silence. Sorry sunshine!

The craziest thing, though, was when the bartender, who looked exactly like Hatchet-face from the John Waters film "Crybaby" ...

... came over with a beer bottle between her jugs (and they were jugs) and forced my friend to drink from it. I don't know if that was supposed to be some kind of mother's milk thing or what, but it mostly came across as strangely fellatic. Which, you know, feels weird with naked boobs around.

Well, the night ended too soon after one last Cintron energy drink-based cocktail (that stuff is insane) and last call for private dances. As I wandered out, I thought about how this would be such a great little place to hang out all the time - become a regular, schedule business meetings there, impress my friends. The Guerrilla Queer Bar could take it over for a night, and instead of guerrillas they would be cunt-quistadors.

But then I thought about the price of stripper bar drinks, and the irritation of the girls when they discovered I just wanted to watch them dance around a little bit, and I decided that maybe this just needs to be a special gay treat, an occasional indulgence when I'm "out with the guys."

Besides, I'm never going to change our gay world hanging out in a titty bar. Talk about a gay neutral zone. I gotta remember to keep this straight: I'm living in the D, not living in the V.

I am a giver

In response to a reader request (thanks, sugar), I did a little site maintenance tonight and added hyperlinks to YouTube videos in addition the whole "view in blog" option. Apparently there were worktime viewing problems for people.

Never let it be said that Supergay wasn't as accomodating as possible to everyone!

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Guerrilla Faux Pas Party

The Detroit Guerrilla Queer Bar has announced its September event! Details from their MySpace event listing ...

Detroit Guerrilla Queer Bar
Invites You To
The Faux Pas Party (aka The White Party)

Town Pump Tavern
100 W. Montcalm
Downtown Detroit
Friday, September 28 2007 - 9:30pm

This Friday night we're breaking a few cardinal rules of fashion at our Faux Pas Party, or otherwise known as, The White Party.

That's right kiddies, we're WEARING WHITE AFTER LABOR DAY.

Join us at The Town Pump Tavern wearing your whitest of whites. Wear a shirt, dress, pair of pants or even a suit that is white. Who cares if it's after labor day? Certainly Kathleen Turner won't mind.

No worries if you can't/won't wear white... come as you are! Wearing white will just make it easier to meet and mingle, without being totally obvious (as if a bunch of queers isn't obvious enough).

This month's party will be at The Town Pump Tavern. Part Ivy League pub, part hipster hangout; the Town Pump Tavern is the theater district's most popular chill-out spot. Reconstructed in the precise design and decor of its original days, the bar built on the first floor of the towering Park Place Hotel abounds with wooden accents, custom-made antiqued lighting and leather smoking-chairs. It's a great place to spend the evening, and a great place to have a white party.

So bring a few friends. Bring your bear friends, your drag queen friends, your twink friends, your partnered friends, your bewildered roommate, your lesbian friends (lipstick and dykes-on-bikes), and your curious clean-cut boy-next-door friends. The more the merrier!

The Town Pump is located on the corner of Montcalm and Park, right down the street from the Fox Theatre. And since there are no events going on at Comerica Park, The Fox or The Fillmore, there should be plenty of parking available for those of you driving down your Volvos or pickups!

See you there!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Vote for Supergay!

Hi everyone!

OK, it has just come to my attention that the Metro Times "Best of Detroit" voting is underway, and they have a category for "best pop culture blog." Last year the Girl in the D blog won it, and if that blog can win, anyone can win. And that means me.

Pick me!

Please go to this link to vote. There are a million categories, but you only have to fill out 20 of them for your vote to count. Also please consider picking the Guerrilla Queer Bar (next event this Friday!) as "best gay bar." They are the only fresh thing happening on Detroit's stale gay scene.

If you can take five minutes to do this you can help me realize my childhood dream of having an award-winning gay blog! Voting ends Thursday so don't dilly-dally!

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Don't forget!

Hey you! I have a MySpace page and I want friends!

I know, you think it's so beneath me, but I can't help it. I feel like I am reaching out to a younger generation by photoshopping images that aren't me and lying about my age.

The place where nobody dared to go ...

You can sign up to be my friend at And you will feel your life improve when you do it!

Friday, September 21, 2007

Six Months

Today marks the six-month point my career as celebrity blogger.

I started this whole endeavor with certain goals, specifically to explore what I considered to be the invisible gay community in the city of Detroit and make it a little easier for other people in my shoes (e.g. new-ish to the city) to find what took me a year to even start to get a grasp of. I also wanted to spotlight opportunities for gay socializing that rose above the typical dreck that this city offers in its regular gay scene. And finally, I wanted to joke around.

You can be the judge on how successful I have or have not been in achieving those goals, it really isn't for me to say. What I can comment on is how really quite transformative the entire blog process has been for me personally.

I stated early on and continue to believe that blogging is pretty narcissistic, especially in the way you traditionally see it executed. And I say that as a narcissist. But writing this has honestly changed my life for the better. After saying I wanted to connect with the community, I basically forced myself to chat more freely with gay people I meet, instead of feeling apprehensive or silently judged (I'm not the five-alarm hottie I was at 25). I explore my gay options more, and try to break out of my regular routine to try new places, if only so I can write about them. I have discovered that there are many people out there who feel like I do about the state of the gaytion.

It was after my second piece for Model D, Seven Steps to a Better Gay Detroit (ok, that is one other really cool thing about this - I sometimes actually get paid to write, something I love to do but is not my job), that I ended up at crowded party attended by some gay people I see around but never ever have met. I made a point of going up and introducing myself, because I know they are gay Detroiters and I know they have a passion for the city to which I can relate. I also threw a party at my home, since it's my gay duty and maybe a guest will get a glimpse of why I love living in Detroit. And I made a donation to the Triangle Foundation, an organization for which I have tremendous respect. I guess I realized that if I was going put all that advice in print I'd best get to steppin' and work my way through them! It's too bad I didn't open a gay bar yet.

In two weeks I mark the 20th anniversary of coming out of the closet. I came of age at a time when the gay community was political, angry and united. I would never wish a return to a situation like the height of the AIDS epidemic, but I miss that solidarity. I miss that feeling of being united in a common goal. I miss people being angry for being treated like second-class citizens.

If I can fine-tune my goal for this blog just a tiny bit going into its second six months, I would hope (in the most naive, I'm-gonna-change-the-world kind of way) that it can be a part of the re-formation - or at least increased visibility - of the gay community in Detroit. It could be as simple as getting everyone to show up at the same place on the same night. Maybe it's getting this fucking city and it's mayor to acknowledge the contributions of gay people in the city and make sure the whole damn gay world knows it's welcome here. Whatever it is, I want to do it.

So off I go, onto another Friday night of fun and frolic, looking for signs of intelligent gay life to report back to you, my beloved blog reader. The social consciousness stuff can start next week.



Wednesday, September 19, 2007

I don't care how you get here, just get here if you can

One eminently enjoyable aspect to having any website is tracking your web statistics. I don't get too caught up on my exact number of hits, although obviously the more the mary-er around here, but I do love it when people find this site by googling.

Why? Because people find this site through the most fucked-up keyword searched you can imagine. And you don't have to imagine, because I am going to list the freakiest ones right now. I'm listing with comments, but take from this list what you will ...

10. "gay sport blogspot" - I think they were looking for someone else's blog, maybe?

9. "hitting on a roommate gay" - I wonder how that turned out?

8. "last night a dj saved my life + michelle pfeiffer" - it is almost inconceivable why anyone would google those two things together, but if you do want to do that, I'm the #1 google hit

7. "douching photo" - why me?

6. "detroit 6 mile TS" - again, why?

5. "hot guys bar backing" - I think he might be missing an 'e' ... but then again maybe not?

4. "dirty gay bars in detroit michigan" - it's entirely possible we are talking about different kinds of filth

3. "asshole mayor kwame kilpatrick" - you really have to admire the quest for solidarity that drives this particular search

2. "what is the beauty of the Spirit of Detroit statue" - Well, I guess they got my opinion on that!

1. "grandpa little girl pussy stories" - Definitely the #1 freakiest keyword search, right?

And just for kicks, here are my top ten most popular search items, starting with the most popular:

1. "gay bar detroit" and any permutation of that, including searches for information on particular gay bars, gay bar reviews, gay bar genres ("mature gay bar").

2. "detroit gay life" - Some of these were a little sad, kind of showing people in the same boat I was in when I moved here ("looking for gay detroit," "gay professionals detroit"). Search keywords, like sad songs, say so much.

3. "detroit guerrilla gay bar" - Lots of people looking for these guys! That makes me happy.

4. "packard plant gay superheroes" - You have to admit, that's kind of special.

5. "walk it out fosse" - The most incredible youtube video of all time.

6. "ugly betty white" - So much potential for greatness, yet no one seems to have seen it. Maybe it only needs to live in our imaginations.

7. "gay history" - And Palmer Park history. Someone ought to write a book.

8. "dynadouche" - I can't imagine many people actually blogged on that one.

9. "atlas global bistro" - Hardly surprising, given how much I mention it. By the way, Wednesday nights are still gay night, and the great current bartender is off to greener pastures (NYC) in two weeks. Come say hi.

10. This is a three-way tie: "wound menswear," "proof martini lounge" and "phillip cooley." Yes, Phillip Cooley. Apparently a lot of people search for information on him. Or maybe he is just searching for himself. Only his hairdresser knows for sure.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

More More More!

OK, really super sorry about the disappearing act. It's not that I don't love writing this here little blog. But man, sometimes the real world has a way of interfering with my hobbies.

This is just a little howdy-hi, because in 30 I gotta be someplace better, but I just HAD to bring to you the following Hedwig originator.

Boy, the supertalents of the 70's would never make it today! Britney gets raked over the coals (deservedly - she set her own standard) but Andrea True can barely shake her ass to the rhythm. Which is weird, since she was a porn star before her recording career. See, you can tell, she has one of those gross porn mouths.
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