Douchebags invade downtown

I just want to know where the normal people downtown have gone tonight. It's like douchebag central down here.

Left work late and headed to the bar at Atlas Global Bistro for eats where I witnessed a drunk woman wearing an unfortunately sleeveless top talk at the top of her lungs about all the racial and economic injustice in America.

To make matters worse she irritated the older guy next to her who was a bona fide asshole (apparently he owns the shop in Eastern Market that sells all the giant ceramic pots) and he kept antagonizing her. "Let's settle this by who spends more here." Seriously?

Not to be outdone, he exited by making this parting comment, "She just wants some black dick" (because she was a white woman and was with a black man). The most annoying woman in the world had my sympathy by the time he left. At least until she spent the next fifteen minutes bitching about him and crying. She was overserved.

Fortunately that all distracted me from the first part of the evening and the dude who lived at 32 Mile Road and friends next to me clamoring to get the Wings game on television. Their big nights out usually include Fishbones in St. Claire Shores but they'd ventured downtown for the Wings. Their conversations were beyond boring and their clothes even worse. Mock turtlenecks, anyone?

Fortunately some friends came to meet me for a while so I was able to pass the time reasonably well, but when they were ready to leave I had to move on.

Went to the Park Bar as a reflexive action. Loved that the super cute guy from the band Shoe was bartending, but could not deal with the total douchebaggery that surrounded half the bar. I'm talking fake-n-bake girls with dark eyeliner and chunky hightlights, and guys with gold chains smoking cigars. WTF?

Obviously that wasn't going to work. So I paid the cover to head into Cliff Bell's next door, because that is always such a good scene. Surprise? More douchebags and only a handful of the good folks. I plugged in to blog this and some dude with a backward baseball cap actually tried to surreptitiously take my picture! I think it was the 'stache.

Turnabout is fair play.

I don't know where everyone cool is tonight, it's kind of a disaster. Maybe I will head to D'Mongo's for last-ditch coolness. At least tomorrow night at Cirque there will be fun. I hope.

The FJC always does a good job of being cool. And classy. Ish.