Showing posts with label viewer mail. Show all posts
Showing posts with label viewer mail. Show all posts

Monday, December 15, 2008

Art Imitates Life

The excellent and astounding Supergay Detroit Gay Bar Blight Tour has inspired many reactions - from amazement to dismay to disbelief - but in a Supergay Detroit first it has now inspired art!

Blog reader Michael Conboy was inspired by the tour and created a series of drawings of gay bars "by the dozen." Detroit was the first treatment, and a later treatment of LA gay bars and bath houses was part of a gallery show recently!

A Dozen Gay Bars, 2008

With the no-holds-barred frontier of the internet and an ever increasing acceptance by mainstream society, the neighborhood gay bar holds less importance every day. But with acceptance comes the loss of camaraderie that people sharing a common secret develop. And complete acceptance must not only be legislated, it must be believed. So, while the entertainment might be less fabulous, the crowds less “cutting edge” and the atmosphere less charged, these homely structures survive as safe spaces for a group still having doubts that it’s all okay out there. In presenting these places “by the dozen” I play off the very ordinariness of their exteriors which belies the importance they have as spaces sacred to a minority who thrive behind their walls.

[A free copy of the last porny issue of BUTT magazine to the first person to name all the Detroit bars pictured here! (Click for a larger version.) Email me at supergaydetroit@gmail.com with your answers!]

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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Help for the fabulous

Gang, I need a little help helping a friend.

My friend emailed and is coming into town in a few weeks. He needs to rent a car, and he would like something a little fancier than a Buick Lacerne, which seems to be the best standard rental companies will offer.

Anyone know where a gal can rent a BMW or Land Rover or something with a little more panache?

I'm useless with anything car-related and actually fear them - as evidenced in my refusal to get rid of the only car I've ever even remotely liked despite ten years of rocky times. Any suggestion are greatly appreciated!

Friday, June 20, 2008

Readers Have Questions


Occasionally I will receive email from readers with questions, which I answer to the best of my ability. But there are times when even I, Supergay, don't have the answer. Such is the case with two recent queries.

The first is a serious question regarding real estate in this sub-ideal market:

An elderly gay friend of mine has had to move from Grosse Pointe to another state where he has friends who could assist him. He would like to find places to advertise his home for sale that would attract gays or lesbians. Do you have any suggestions as to where he might target this group?
I didn't have an easy answer, but I told this reader I'd ask around. I'd love to help this home in a great Grosse Pointe location find a suitable gay or lesbian owner! It's not far from the lake, Grosse Pointe South High School (look but don't touch, fellas), lovely GP shopping districts and the great Hawkins Ferry-commissioned, Marcel Breuer-designed Grosse Pointe Public Library.

The next letter is perhaps a little more ... well, just more.

I took the blight tour, parts one and two. I assume that is your work. I'm not too familiar with blogs. I got here by accident. I tried to log onto supergaydetroit.com but couldn't. I was taken, instead, to supergaydetroitblogspotdetroit.com. I don't know how that happened. I don't "get" computers. Are you, for example, the guy I heard on Detroit Today?

My question for you (or anyone who might know) is as follows: Is there a gay bar in Detroit like the Ki-ki-ki Lounge in Tampa? The Ki-ki-ki has as half of its clientele young and muscular men who are slightly addicted to various substances.


They play pool and wait for older, heavier men (like me) to invite them out for short sexual exchanges for small amounts of cash. These guys tend to behave during such "exchanges" because they are known and approved by the on-duty bartender. They want to stay around and remain on the good side of the bartender so they don't rob their older admirers.

I have been there several times on vacation and enjoyed each experience. Does Detroit have a similar hustler bar where the bartender keeps tabs on the studs so the admirers don't come to any harm???

It may come as a great shock and surprise, but I had no idea what to tell this fellow!

If anyone has any suggestions for either of our readers, please leave a comment or email me at supergaydetroit@gmail.com. Thanks!

[Edit: It was suggested to me by a reader that I clarify something - the second letter was actually posted to show you the kind of crazy that occasionally ends up in my inbox. I don't really want to get suggestions on hustler bars to pass along to anyone.]

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Readers Who Care

To my great joy and surprise, one of you took my shy suggestion for an anniversary gift to heart and actually sent me some paper money! How you got my address is a weird stalker issue I'll have to address sometime down the road I'm sure, but right now I'm just so happy to receive a present!

While not being euro dollars, it is foreign currency, so as long as the U.S. Dollar continues its plummet into worthlessness what now seems to be about a buck and change (were I to exchange it) could someday pay for my niece's college education! Thank you, Neil!



Scans of the actual monetary gift!

Playing around with the pretty currency of other nations got me thinking about what my own currency might look like. When I rule the world, here's our one dollar note:

The Carol Channing dollar.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Dear Supergay ...

Since adding an email link to my blogger profile last month I've received several messages and Amazon gift cards from Supergay readers. It is something I didn't really anticipate, but I am so glad to get feedback and presents.


One Midtown reader recently sent me a very thoughtful e-mail that gently challenged me on some of my recent comments about certain gay bars in Detroit. He asked, essentially, what is my problem with every Detroit gay bar I have ever mentioned?

That is a very good question. I know I've touched on it here and there, but apparently not with any clarity and perhaps a little insensitivity toward the people who make their livelihoods there. So I spent quite a bit of time responding to this question (and a few others), and I thought I would share some of my answers here. In the interest of clearing things up for everyone.

The best way to sum up my problem is that I don't think gay bars in Detroit reflect the overall increased sense of openness that the gay community experiences (in general) in the 21st century. I joke that the gay bars in Detroit are stuck in the gay shame of the 80's, but it's actually not a joke. We still scurry around to less-than-desirable neighborhoods and enter discreet, run-down looking buildings with bricked up windows, through the back door more often than not (and not in the good way).

When the /aut/ bar opened in Ann Arbor there was this big hoopla about it having windows and being out in the open and everything. I'd just moved to Michigan from DC and thought it was so strange that people were making such a big deal out of it (in 1995!) Now I really understand that it was kind of revolutionary for SE Michigan.

I do not think every bar needs to be Pronto! in Royal Oak - a very attractive bar I don't particularly care for but do occasionally visit. But the lack of variety in Detroit bars is frustrating. I don't mean drag vs. dance vs. leather kind of variety, I mean the fact that there is so little that is actually "nice." Like nice enough to recommend to a visitor, someplace about which I feel comfortable saying "go to this great gay bar."

I get that gay bars struggle to get a crowd, but there are things that make bars less appealing than they could be, and they are my particular issues with the bars I've mentioned on the blog.

* Cleanliness and upkeep - These bars feel dirty, as in unclean. I don't fear for my health getting a drink, but I'm not anxious to pick up something I've dropped on the floor either. As I noted in my Gay Bar Blight Tour, the R& R smelled like a dirty dick the last time I went. The /aut/ bar - the big gay revelation - didn't repaint for six years, their bathrooms became completely disgusting, and they had the special designation of being the smokiest gay bar in SE Michigan. These are all things that I don't want to notice when I go to a bar.

* Decor - I am not looking for a designer interior, but there are enough resources in the gay community where someone can walk into one of these places and light it better (not brighter, just better) and generally play up the leather or levi or whatever theme in a way that feels newer and interesting. It doesn't even mean an overhaul, it just means some attention to updating a look every ten years or so.

* Programming - It is constant work but there has to be something to draw people in. It just always seems that you get the same old same old when you go to some of these places. Even Pronto is guilty - they play the same damn music video DVD's all the time - how many times do I need to see that Mr. Brightside video? I mean it's good but come on.

I do realize that these points focus on negatives, and I want to state very clearly that I have had a good time at places like the Eagle (with its new-and-improved website) and the /aut/ bar - some great times actually. But to me it comes down to feeling taken advantage of: it's the gay bar, what choice do we have, right? Well, as it turns out, in 2008 we do have other choices and apparently as a community we are exercising them.


This letter was from a longtime Detroit resident who absolutely, 100% gets the ways in which our gay community in the Detroit area is dysfunctional. He put it much more concisely that I could have ever done myself (I know, I'm a little wordy):

(The) census is down at almost every gay bar recently, but I feel there are several reasons for this. Loss of population; Wayne County alone lost 30,000 residents in 2007. This suggests that, whether you believe 5% or 10% of the population is gay, Detroit’s gay bars lost 1500 to 3000 potential customers from Wayne County alone!

Michigan’s draconian drinking/driving laws combined with the lack of adequate mass transit options certainly account as a large factor. The lack of a centrally-located and visible gay ‘ground zero’ has resulted in the Detroit gay community existing in a twisted diaspora motivated by an antiquated sort of racism that is perpetuated by both sides of the color spectrum. This also creates a community that lazily interacts with itself predominantly through the internet.


Those last two sentences still thrill me. "Twisted diaspora" is the most perfect description of the gay community in SE Michigan ever.

He also discussed the Guerrilla Queer Bar phenomenon as contrasted with Disco Secret, the gay/straight hipster happening at the Eagle on Sunday nights, and how each of them contributes differently to gay life in the city. I thought I was the only one who thought about this stuff.

But he did lose me with one point he raised:

Bars such as [these] may well not be perfect in your eyes, however they are all institutions that have stuck with the gay community through thick and thin literally for generations. For this alone they deserve to be patronized, respected and just maybe reinvented and invigorated through the process of this patronization.

My take is this: perhaps a certain amount of loyalty is in order, but these are businesses, not public services. Yes they serve a need in the community, but they make money off the community. It is the responsibility of the business to adapt or even re-invent to engage the customer base. A business that expects patronage as its due is a business that becomes stagnant and, eventually, obsolete. See Carl's Chop House. A successful business that can give to the community is great, but there are many ways to give, and as a gay bar one way is providing the best possible experience. And don't forget that for a business "giving back to the community" is also smart marketing.

One of the reasons I started this blog was to create a resource for people who, like me, were having a hard time finding the kind of gay community they might have enjoyed elsewhere - without going to the suburbs. I have received some really great feedback from people - gay and straight alike - about how good it is to find a discerning gay voice that is pro-Detroit. And as you know, I really am pro-Detroit.

The gay world doesn't need "community" out of dire necessity anymore, but it does need it as a matter of identity, political expedience and social interaction. Owners of businesses that cater to the gay community need to step up and do their part to create a focal point, a destination. Just being a gay bar is no longer enough.

I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings, but this blog exists to challenge the gay Detroit status quo. I sincerely want Detroit's gay bars to succeed, but they need to evolve just as the rest of the gay world has evolved. I don't think being critical of the gay bars in the city constitutes business bashing. As a matter of fact, I like to think of this as a "suggestion box." We aren't going to engage gays who have settled into the suburban social scene without creating a better-executed and more interesting alternative.

I want to sincerely thank this Midtown Reader again for writing. Even though we don't see eye-to-eye on all points, it is always exhilirating to interact with people who also contemplate the issues of Gay Detroit.

Keep those (gift) cards and letters coming!

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