New Year Musings

Sitting in the waiting area to board my flight to Palm Springs on New Year's Eve, I commented via text to some friends that it was like sitting in death’s waiting room, on account of all the old people. It turns out I was completely correct as a woman in first class had a heart attack in the restroom and we were forced to make an emergency landing in Colorado. And after we took off again the guy across the aisle from me had to be put on oxygen. It was really insane.

[And as a nice bookend, as I waited for the flight that would take me back to the Midwest – a flight that was delayed on its way to Palm Springs because of an emergency medical landing – I heard the gate agent put in a call for SEVEN wheelchairs to assist the arriving passengers.]

But Palm Springs isn’t just old people. It’s gay people too. A lot of them. Like so many it’s a little uncomfortable, as least until you get used to it. Well, if you come from the gay desert of Detroit it takes getting used to. 40% gay is the number I heard. Isn't that nuts?

I went to Palm Springs to meet up with a group of guys who were my core group when I lived in Ann Arbor. Over time we all moved away, me only as far as Detroit, but the rest to various California locales. It is always absolutely wonderful meeting up with them, because as we've all noted, we've met great people in our new homes but there was a special kind of connection on the sense of humor front in that group. Whenever we meet up it's pretty much constant laughs. And we're not even high.

Palm Springs is like the opposite of Detroit - it's mostly modern, the weather is beautiful (even in winter, when it is the cold desert). The amount they do modern there is actually almost crazy. Even all new contruction seems to be modern, and you know America loves a neo-traditional homestead. All in all, it's very pretty there.

An open house at the condo across the lane from my friends' place ...
the pool was gorgeous, but alas, the interior was straight-guy TRAGIC.

A lady moment at the wonderfully prissy Kaffeehaus.

Fruits are cheap in PS!

A spontaneous drag moment while out for Sunday afternoon cocktails

As mentioned, the gays are everywhere. And they skew older, this isn't a young man's town. So it is a little strange to go to the bar and see guys in their 40's and 50's acting as typical and stupid drunk as the kids you might see at Menjo's. Honestly fellas, haven't you learned anything in the past 20 years?

The up side, of course, is that I am basically a twink when I go there, and that was kind of nice. Everyone wants to feel pretty now and again.

Now speaking of pretty, even though not all the architecture there is executed flawlessly, people there are pretty house-proud and modern is the prevailing aesthetic for commercial spaces as well as residential, so from my perspective things look good. And there is no blight. Even the homeless people seem pretty happy (and they aren't braving frostbite standing out with their stupid "Why Lie? I want beer" signs).

It was with a heavy heart, then, that I returned to the depressing winter weather and the oppressive oppression of the economic disaster that is Michigan. Everything just looked so ... ugly. It was just so ... cold. And getting together with friends - the usual antidote when the bad parts of living in Detroit get to you - is met with people complaining about the same things you're complaining about.

Now boarding: flight back to Detroit.
I would have been lucky to be seated in between these two. Instead I got the overweight single mom from downriver
with a smoker's voice, and a styrofoam container of fast food and a two-year old on her lap.

It's an ugly time in Detroit.

And that leads me to thinking about the Supergay agenda for 2009. Last year I wanted to promote the city as a good destination for gays and help foster gay community. I think overall I can say that was achieved, although without any measurable result (except for Doggy Style, that's a certifiable hit).

This year I need to strike closer to the root of the problems that disturb me. I learned in Palm Springs that a surplus of gay people isn't what I really want - being there, as delightful as it was, actually made me long for the mosaic of people who are part of my life downtown, even if I do sometimes feel like I'm somewhat isolated as a gay dude. All good things in moderation, I suppose.

This year, we've got to work on the aesthetics of life in Detroit. As inspiring as the cycle of decay and (ideally) rebirth can sometimes be, the downward slope can be really depressing. Palm Springs showed me what pretty can do for your attitude, and my return home showed me how ugly can just suck the life out of you.

I can't fix the weather, and I can't fix the blight. But I can point out what is right and I can try to encourage individual efforts to make Detroit slightly more attractive.

So on top of the gay attraction agenda of 2008, this year we'll add "beautification" to the list. Because Detroit, you can do better, even if means not wearing that ugly sweatshirt out in public. I'm sure I'll follow through as well as last year, but at least we'll get the message out there for a while.
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Gay Movie of the Week

As mentioned previously, Tuesday Nights Doggy Style at the Park Bar are changing for the summer.

Game nights are mellow, casual nights. We will show video compilations and have relaxed, adult conversation over alcoholic beverages.

On non-game nights, however, we will enjoy the Gay Movie of the Week. These are films that as a culturally literate gay or gay-friendly American you must know. Just so you can make jokes at a cocktail party.

Kicking things off next Tuesday night will be the modern camp classic "Showgirls."

There is nothing and everything gay about this film. Come and enjoy it with the masses.

Like John McCain says, See You Next Tuesday!

My Prayer for Detroit

Via Darren in NYC.

Go to Gay Pride. Do it!

As I mentioned in my breakfast rant, this Sunday is Motor City Pride, the Detroit area's gay pride extravaganza.

Extravaganza is possibly a strong word, but it's a our big street festival in Ferndale. And it seems like this year more than most recent years it might be a good time to get out and make your presence known.

I know our Pride event here has a bum rap, and compared to most major cities it's not quite in the "amazing" category (I almost wept when I saw the Milwaukee PrideFest website, it looks like so much fun). It's SUPER early in the Pride season - June is Gay Pride Month on account of the Stonewall Riots happening the third weekend in June - and it's not a parade or anything.

But it's worlds away from the Pride festivals from when I first moved back to Michigan, when they were held in a parking deck in Royal Oak (yes that's right). Now it is orchestrated by the Triangle Foundation - some of the Metro Detroit gay community's heaviest lifters - and is a full street festival. It's verrry interesting people watching and solid family fun!

And as for the lackluster reviews, well who really is to blame if a community's Pride event is not as great as it could be? I think ... the community is. As with gay bars, a gay community gets the Pride event it deserves. We aren't going to make it any better by sitting it out - higher attendance means better sponsorships and a better event next year!

This isn't intended as a tepid endorsement of Motor City Pride, but I'm a little angry today so this is what you get. I'd really like to encourage everyone to put aside any city/suburb rivalries and go, just to show the tiniest bit of community solidarity, and maybe make some new lesbigay friends!

Motor City Pride includes a mass commitment ceremony Saturday day, a movie event Saturday night (featuring a new film starring Tori Spelling!), and the Street Festival on Sunday from noon onward. Oh and lest I forget, there will be a Doggie Drag Show at 5pm sponsored by none other than our friends at Canine to Five!

Tuesday Nights, Doggy Style

I'm extraordinarily unhappy with the state of gay bars in the city of Detroit, which you might have noticed if you ever happened to take a look at the Gay Bar Blight Tour I did back in '06. I believe the state of the gay bars in a city are a reflection on the health of that city's gay community, and I find it completely unacceptable that there is not a single gay bar in the city of Detroit that has the amenities the gay community deserves in the 21st century. Windows, for example.

That is why Supergay Detroit and Canine to Five are teaming up to present "Tuesday Nights Doggy Style at the Park Bar," a night for Detroit gays & lesbians and their friends.

Click for a larger version, suitable for framing or e-mailing to friends.

In Detroit it's always about proportions. Most places you go will have some gay presence, but it's always small, like a gay couple out for dinner, or a group of gay friends, or a solo gay out with straight friends. It's not conducive to mingling and it really does nothing to emphasize gay visibility in the city.

The Park Bar, located at 2040 Park Avenue in Detroit, is no stranger to a gay clientele, and there have seriously been nights there recently where more than half the people there were gay. And it's always really fun, and kind of exciting to see all the other downtown gays hanging out and mingling. They're a friendly bunch. And it makes you wonder, wouldn't it be great if there were someplace you could regularly get a gay social fix without traveling to a crap bar or the suburbs?

"Doggy Style" is an effort to shift the balance from mostly straight to mostly gay for one night of the week, and to provide an attractive, open, well-located, clean and ... well, normal bar to patronize.

What can you expect at Doggy Style? In additional to the usual good Park Bar vibe, there will be a curated selection of music and video programming designed to appeal to a downtown gay sensibility. So yes, you should expect some Madonna, but also maybe a little New Order, for example. It's meant to be fun and appeal to gays and lesbians and straight folks who like fun. Think guppie meets hipster meets drag queen meets downtown boozehound.

As for Canine to Five's invovlement - first off, the whole thing was owner Liz Blondy's idea. And Liz has made concerted efforts since opening to improve gay quality of life in town, whether it's making introductions among gay folks who might never have connected or hosting special dog parks for gay customers. Canine to Five is definitely an ally in the quest to improve things for us here.

Please pass the word on to your friends, and come down to check it out! There is no conceivable way you won't have fun - it's a whole new gay-er bar experience for Detroit!

It Takes a Village, People.

With the dawn of a new year comes a renewed sense of purpose. Or at least that's what my therapist says. So I'm taking the Supergay Detroit blog and expanding its scope.

The holiday San Francisco trip was important in many ways. First off, caught up on shopping. Secondly, reaffirmed gay solidarity. And thirdly, realized how much living in Detroit is working for me.

It also gave me a chance to discuss my personal gay agenda and my objectives for this blog with friends who agree with me on key points about our gay identities, and to look at ideas to effect greater change.

One friend, over dinner at the hipsteriest East German restaurant ever, asked me, "How many gay people do you need to move downtown to create a difference?" Isn't that a good question? Thirty, I replied. Thirty this year. And then he said, "You need to create the Supergay Detroit Cultural Enhancement Program."

It was genius. I wish I could take credit for the idea, but in reality I am outspoken but stupid.

So this year, in addition to social commentary, bar reviews, and timewasting youtubing, I am working to create gay change in the city of Detroit. This year, we are going to get thirty new gay people into three key neighborhoods with great gay potential.

Here are the guidelines:

* The goal is new gay residents - we're not poaching from other Detroit neighborhoods. Let's get people who "get it" to move in from the suburbs, and let's snag people moving in from other cities before they are unceremoniously directed toward Royal Oak by their relocation expert.

* We need gay folks who will be publicly engaged with the community - the goal here is visibility, gang, so gays who want to stay home all the time might as well nest in Brighton. We need gays and lesbians who will be out and about. Singles are great, since they are forced out of the house by their desperate loneliness, but couples who want to do more than watch "Lost" snuggled up on the sofa each week are also needed. This is more than hanging out at the bar, it's being gay at the Y, at restaurants, with community groups ... it's being a part of life in the city.

* Newly-hatched gay people who already live in the city count too! Everyone knows Michigan isn't the most evolved place in terms of accepting gays and lesbians, so it tends to take some people longer than others to pull it together and come out of the closet. Instead of shunning these folks, we need to reward their honesty (while secretly recounting their closeted foibles) and make them a part of gay Detroit. And encourage their move to a designated potential gayborhood!

Naturally, Supergay Detroit has taken the time to identify three neighborhoods with amazing gay potential. If you've been a longtime reader then you know my take on gayborhoods. The areas I've selected have hit the mark on several key points, including a moderate gay presence currently, a variety of housing options, geographic desirability and potential for improvement on an individual resident level.

I have selected Midtown (for those skewing young), Lafayette Park (for the more sophisticated and mature gay) and West Village (frankly, for everyone) as Detroit's future gay neighborhoods. I'll take an in-depth look at these neighborhoods over the next few posts.

So these guidelines aren't that hard, are they? It's just about openly gay people moving into neighborhoods with amazing gay potential.

Your goal, gentle reader, is to encourage gay migration to these areas. And it won't be hard. People are tired of the generic homogeneity of Royal Oak. And they are getting frustrated by the lack of options in Ferndale. Detroit is the new gay frontier, (even though it's alway had a huge gay undercurrent), and I am all about pointing out options.

This is the foundation of the 2008 Supergay Detroit Cultural Enhancement Program. I strongly believe change starts from the ground up, so everyone stop waiting for leadership to text you an invitation and accept this one instead. Creating change is our gay birthright, so let's get to it!