Two Years

Hey here's something remarkable: this past week marks the two-year anniversary of Supergay Detroit. Two years, how about that? In the immortal words of Melissa Sue Anderson, Happy Birthday to Me.

If there is one thing I love it's a milestone. It gives you an excuse to stop to reflect and, essentially, think about yourself. And since I quit going to therapy I'm always looking for an excuse.

As a result of this reflecting I recently realized that I've become one of those gay people in Detroit I couldn't find when I moved here. I mean aside from having a gay blog and throwing a gay weekly thing, I'm no longer actively seeking a gay community in Detroit proper. I guess I just ran out of steam on that.

I am now one of those gay people in the city who goes out to all the regular places and meets up with gay friends as occasionally as he meets up with straight friends. I am now one of those gay people I used to see out at Union Street and wonder, "how can I connect with these people?"

The original goal of this blog was to find the gay community in Detroit, and provide a resource for other people out there who were having a hard time finding it too. Now I just don't think about it that much anymore. Apparently, I've been assimilated.

My problem is that I don't know if that's something to be happy about or not.
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Welcome Metro Times Readers!

Well kids, we did it again! SupergayDetroit won the Metro Times Readers Poll for Best Local Pop Culture Blog! Here's what they had to say:

The site may have stacked the deck just a tad by soliciting its readers to vote — not that there there's anything wrong with campaigning — but the site is still a total hoot, even for the hetero among us. Self-described as "documenting one upwardly mobile, 30-something man's fight to find the kind of gay life every good homo deserves. In Detroit," Supergay totally rocks. (And we're bettin' Sarah Palin would not approve!)

Stacked the deck indeed! What, I should sit around and wait for good things to happen? No! We are not like the rest of Michigan here at SupergayDetroit - we actually go out and work for our success! But the otherwise kind words are greatly appeciated!

And I do rock! Richard Florida even wrote that when he signed my copy of Who's Your City yesterday at the Creative Cities Summit!

So for all of you first-time visitors - and especially for returning readers - here is a little video to give you an idea of what SGD is all about: pop-culture, humor, wasting time, drag and good production values. Oh, and the occasional NSFW (delicate ears may be offended).

Baby Got Front!

Oh and the Supergay Slate did pretty well - of 27 picks, 15 won. Better than the Tigers! (How do I even know that??) Check out the results here.

Thanks again everyone!
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Oops I did it again: Bouzouki

I was laying pretty low this summer, staying in, not drinking, saving money and praying for liver rejuvenation. It was nice to hang out at home and nest a little bit, or as Sandra Bernhard put it, "oh you can go on the road, you can do summer stock, but sometimes don't you just want to stay in the city and enjoy your damn co-op?" And I did, and although kind of boring, it was nice.

Well that all kind of came to a crashing end last night. I was lured out to Honest? John's for the third anniversary gathering for HotFudgeDetroit, a snarky ill-tempered local web forum for people who no longer see living in Detroit through rose-tinted glasses but love it (mostly) anyway. And more significantly, HFD is the birthplace of Supergay Detroit and the Detroit Gay Bar Blight Tour.

[Note: If I've never explained the origins of the name Supergay it's because I was probably embarrassed. I created Supergay when HFD started up as an identity to parody the postings of a local blogger and forum participant. I don't know what's more appalling, the utter lack of maturity or the overwhelming geekiness of it all. Do I feel bad about it all now? Sure, if it makes me seem like a better person. Let's just thank God things evolved for Supergay. Well, a little bit.]

Anyway, the internet forum meetup was fun and it was great to see the gang in person, they are an excellent bunch. But I got caught up in the spirit of the evening and I didn't say no to shots of Kessler when I should have, and then there is kind of this blur of talking to people, and the next thing I know someone is shouting "OK we're going to Bouzouki!"

Regular readers may recall last year's visit to Bouzouki II ("the deuce") a dive of a strip joint in Capitol Park (now called Lolita's). Well this trip was to the original Bouzouki in Greektown. It's bigger and more popular, and I consented to tag along provided someone paid my cover and bought me a beer.



It turns out this Bouzouki is more "formatted" as a strip club, but it's still a shitty shithole! So much for downtown's premiere live female entertainment! The place is worn down in that "dump" kind of way. We were seated at a table by a hostess (apparently it's customary to tip them!?) and then I had to clear off a half-full beer bottle, a full ashtray and dirty tablecloths just so I could be seated. Ew. There were spots on the walls where drywall had been patched but not repainted. The bathroom had a plastic bag over one of the urinals and some guy there I guess was the attendant, although he kind of just looked like a homeless Mexican dude.

And then the viewing began. The "girls" were really not all that fantastic, although I will say to their credit most of them had not resorted to surgical breast augmentation, which typically makes me uncomfortable. But most of them had that really bad fried looking blonde hair and they all wore those ridiculous stripper platform heels with the clear base - like it was a uniform or something. And there were several dancers who were downright chubby! The whole vibe of the girls was super Macomb County, which upon reflection was also the vibe of the customers. And Greektown in general, really. So maybe the guys there just like to see girls who look like their girlfriends.

I fucking hate these cheap-ass shoes.
If I were straight I'd lose my bonaire right away.

The stage here had four dance poles and four girls dancing at all times. At Bouzouki II I was really fascinated with the extensive pole acrobatics, but here at the "nicer" club there were hardly any stunts at all! Really only one or two girls were working the pole in a way I found satisfying.

The most frustrating aspect, aside from the horrendous music, the constant solicitations for private dances and the guys I was with continually disappearing to who-knows-what DNA encrusted banquettes, was that I could not get out of my head the desire to see the four women dancing on the stage coordinate their moves somehow. It would have been so incredible if the were all dancing separately and then suddenly they were all in synch for a few moves, right? I mean, a little choreography goes a long way! I'd tip for that.

The problem when I go to titty bars is that I really want it to be Showgirls, but it's always more Law & Order Special Victims Unit. I suppose I should have thought about that before going into another titty bar in the first place.

God made me gay for a lot of reasons, and I believe one of them was so I could avoid disasters like Bouzouki. I am going to say a prayer of thanks right now. And re-embrace moderation!
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Happy Anniversary to Me

Hard to believe, but it's been a year for Supergay Detroit. And what a year it's been.

Year One is the Paper Anniversary.

Feel free to send me paper currency. Preferably euros.

Besos,

SG

Dear Supergay ...

Since adding an email link to my blogger profile last month I've received several messages and Amazon gift cards from Supergay readers. It is something I didn't really anticipate, but I am so glad to get feedback and presents.


One Midtown reader recently sent me a very thoughtful e-mail that gently challenged me on some of my recent comments about certain gay bars in Detroit. He asked, essentially, what is my problem with every Detroit gay bar I have ever mentioned?

That is a very good question. I know I've touched on it here and there, but apparently not with any clarity and perhaps a little insensitivity toward the people who make their livelihoods there. So I spent quite a bit of time responding to this question (and a few others), and I thought I would share some of my answers here. In the interest of clearing things up for everyone.

The best way to sum up my problem is that I don't think gay bars in Detroit reflect the overall increased sense of openness that the gay community experiences (in general) in the 21st century. I joke that the gay bars in Detroit are stuck in the gay shame of the 80's, but it's actually not a joke. We still scurry around to less-than-desirable neighborhoods and enter discreet, run-down looking buildings with bricked up windows, through the back door more often than not (and not in the good way).

When the /aut/ bar opened in Ann Arbor there was this big hoopla about it having windows and being out in the open and everything. I'd just moved to Michigan from DC and thought it was so strange that people were making such a big deal out of it (in 1995!) Now I really understand that it was kind of revolutionary for SE Michigan.

I do not think every bar needs to be Pronto! in Royal Oak - a very attractive bar I don't particularly care for but do occasionally visit. But the lack of variety in Detroit bars is frustrating. I don't mean drag vs. dance vs. leather kind of variety, I mean the fact that there is so little that is actually "nice." Like nice enough to recommend to a visitor, someplace about which I feel comfortable saying "go to this great gay bar."

I get that gay bars struggle to get a crowd, but there are things that make bars less appealing than they could be, and they are my particular issues with the bars I've mentioned on the blog.

* Cleanliness and upkeep - These bars feel dirty, as in unclean. I don't fear for my health getting a drink, but I'm not anxious to pick up something I've dropped on the floor either. As I noted in my Gay Bar Blight Tour, the R& R smelled like a dirty dick the last time I went. The /aut/ bar - the big gay revelation - didn't repaint for six years, their bathrooms became completely disgusting, and they had the special designation of being the smokiest gay bar in SE Michigan. These are all things that I don't want to notice when I go to a bar.

* Decor - I am not looking for a designer interior, but there are enough resources in the gay community where someone can walk into one of these places and light it better (not brighter, just better) and generally play up the leather or levi or whatever theme in a way that feels newer and interesting. It doesn't even mean an overhaul, it just means some attention to updating a look every ten years or so.

* Programming - It is constant work but there has to be something to draw people in. It just always seems that you get the same old same old when you go to some of these places. Even Pronto is guilty - they play the same damn music video DVD's all the time - how many times do I need to see that Mr. Brightside video? I mean it's good but come on.

I do realize that these points focus on negatives, and I want to state very clearly that I have had a good time at places like the Eagle (with its new-and-improved website) and the /aut/ bar - some great times actually. But to me it comes down to feeling taken advantage of: it's the gay bar, what choice do we have, right? Well, as it turns out, in 2008 we do have other choices and apparently as a community we are exercising them.

This letter was from a longtime Detroit resident who absolutely, 100% gets the ways in which our gay community in the Detroit area is dysfunctional. He put it much more concisely that I could have ever done myself (I know, I'm a little wordy):

(The) census is down at almost every gay bar recently, but I feel there are several reasons for this. Loss of population; Wayne County alone lost 30,000 residents in 2007. This suggests that, whether you believe 5% or 10% of the population is gay, Detroit’s gay bars lost 1500 to 3000 potential customers from Wayne County alone!

Michigan’s draconian drinking/driving laws combined with the lack of adequate mass transit options certainly account as a large factor. The lack of a centrally-located and visible gay ‘ground zero’ has resulted in the Detroit gay community existing in a twisted diaspora motivated by an antiquated sort of racism that is perpetuated by both sides of the color spectrum. This also creates a community that lazily interacts with itself predominantly through the internet.

Those last two sentences still thrill me. "Twisted diaspora" is the most perfect description of the gay community in SE Michigan ever.

He also discussed the Guerrilla Queer Bar phenomenon as contrasted with Disco Secret, the gay/straight hipster happening at the Eagle on Sunday nights, and how each of them contributes differently to gay life in the city. I thought I was the only one who thought about this stuff.

But he did lose me with one point he raised:

Bars such as [these] may well not be perfect in your eyes, however they are all institutions that have stuck with the gay community through thick and thin literally for generations. For this alone they deserve to be patronized, respected and just maybe reinvented and invigorated through the process of this patronization.

My take is this: perhaps a certain amount of loyalty is in order, but these are businesses, not public services. Yes they serve a need in the community, but they make money off the community. It is the responsibility of the business to adapt or even re-invent to engage the customer base. A business that expects patronage as its due is a business that becomes stagnant and, eventually, obsolete. See Carl's Chop House. A successful business that can give to the community is great, but there are many ways to give, and as a gay bar one way is providing the best possible experience. And don't forget that for a business "giving back to the community" is also smart marketing.

One of the reasons I started this blog was to create a resource for people who, like me, were having a hard time finding the kind of gay community they might have enjoyed elsewhere - without going to the suburbs. I have received some really great feedback from people - gay and straight alike - about how good it is to find a discerning gay voice that is pro-Detroit. And as you know, I really am pro-Detroit.

The gay world doesn't need "community" out of dire necessity anymore, but it does need it as a matter of identity, political expedience and social interaction. Owners of businesses that cater to the gay community need to step up and do their part to create a focal point, a destination. Just being a gay bar is no longer enough.

I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings, but this blog exists to challenge the gay Detroit status quo. I sincerely want Detroit's gay bars to succeed, but they need to evolve just as the rest of the gay world has evolved. I don't think being critical of the gay bars in the city constitutes business bashing. As a matter of fact, I like to think of this as a "suggestion box." We aren't going to engage gays who have settled into the suburban social scene without creating a better-executed and more interesting alternative.

I want to sincerely thank this Midtown Reader again for writing. Even though we don't see eye-to-eye on all points, it is always exhilirating to interact with people who also contemplate the issues of Gay Detroit.

Keep those (gift) cards and letters coming!

It Takes a Village, People.

With the dawn of a new year comes a renewed sense of purpose. Or at least that's what my therapist says. So I'm taking the Supergay Detroit blog and expanding its scope.

The holiday San Francisco trip was important in many ways. First off, caught up on shopping. Secondly, reaffirmed gay solidarity. And thirdly, realized how much living in Detroit is working for me.

It also gave me a chance to discuss my personal gay agenda and my objectives for this blog with friends who agree with me on key points about our gay identities, and to look at ideas to effect greater change.

One friend, over dinner at the hipsteriest East German restaurant ever, asked me, "How many gay people do you need to move downtown to create a difference?" Isn't that a good question? Thirty, I replied. Thirty this year. And then he said, "You need to create the Supergay Detroit Cultural Enhancement Program."

It was genius. I wish I could take credit for the idea, but in reality I am outspoken but stupid.

So this year, in addition to social commentary, bar reviews, and timewasting youtubing, I am working to create gay change in the city of Detroit. This year, we are going to get thirty new gay people into three key neighborhoods with great gay potential.

Here are the guidelines:

* The goal is new gay residents - we're not poaching from other Detroit neighborhoods. Let's get people who "get it" to move in from the suburbs, and let's snag people moving in from other cities before they are unceremoniously directed toward Royal Oak by their relocation expert.

* We need gay folks who will be publicly engaged with the community - the goal here is visibility, gang, so gays who want to stay home all the time might as well nest in Brighton. We need gays and lesbians who will be out and about. Singles are great, since they are forced out of the house by their desperate loneliness, but couples who want to do more than watch "Lost" snuggled up on the sofa each week are also needed. This is more than hanging out at the bar, it's being gay at the Y, at restaurants, with community groups ... it's being a part of life in the city.

* Newly-hatched gay people who already live in the city count too! Everyone knows Michigan isn't the most evolved place in terms of accepting gays and lesbians, so it tends to take some people longer than others to pull it together and come out of the closet. Instead of shunning these folks, we need to reward their honesty (while secretly recounting their closeted foibles) and make them a part of gay Detroit. And encourage their move to a designated potential gayborhood!

Naturally, Supergay Detroit has taken the time to identify three neighborhoods with amazing gay potential. If you've been a longtime reader then you know my take on gayborhoods. The areas I've selected have hit the mark on several key points, including a moderate gay presence currently, a variety of housing options, geographic desirability and potential for improvement on an individual resident level.

I have selected Midtown (for those skewing young), Lafayette Park (for the more sophisticated and mature gay) and West Village (frankly, for everyone) as Detroit's future gay neighborhoods. I'll take an in-depth look at these neighborhoods over the next few posts.

So these guidelines aren't that hard, are they? It's just about openly gay people moving into neighborhoods with amazing gay potential.

Your goal, gentle reader, is to encourage gay migration to these areas. And it won't be hard. People are tired of the generic homogeneity of Royal Oak. And they are getting frustrated by the lack of options in Ferndale. Detroit is the new gay frontier, (even though it's alway had a huge gay undercurrent), and I am all about pointing out options.

This is the foundation of the 2008 Supergay Detroit Cultural Enhancement Program. I strongly believe change starts from the ground up, so everyone stop waiting for leadership to text you an invitation and accept this one instead. Creating change is our gay birthright, so let's get to it!

Yeah bitches!!

Hey, guess who won the Metro Times Reader's Pick for "Best Local Pop Culture Blog?" Me!

They said: "Here's SupergayDetroit's self-description of what his blog's all about: "Documenting one upwardly mobile, 30-something man's fight to find the kind of gay life every good homo deserves. In Detroit." Hey, good luck with that."

What an awesome write-up - I'm glad they took the time to at least read the description. Thanks for the good wishes MT!

Anyway, isn't this exciting? Well, probably more for me than for you. But this is a victory for all of us! Thanks to everyone for voting for me!

Besos,
SG

Vote for Supergay!

Hi everyone!

OK, it has just come to my attention that the Metro Times "Best of Detroit" voting is underway, and they have a category for "best pop culture blog." Last year the Girl in the D blog won it, and if that blog can win, anyone can win. And that means me.

Pick me!

Please go to this link to vote. There are a million categories, but you only have to fill out 20 of them for your vote to count. Also please consider picking the Guerrilla Queer Bar (next event this Friday!) as "best gay bar." They are the only fresh thing happening on Detroit's stale gay scene.

If you can take five minutes to do this you can help me realize my childhood dream of having an award-winning gay blog! Voting ends Thursday so don't dilly-dally!

Don't forget!

Hey you! I have a MySpace page and I want friends!

I know, you think it's so beneath me, but I can't help it. I feel like I am reaching out to a younger generation by photoshopping images that aren't me and lying about my age.

The place where nobody dared to go ...

You can sign up to be my friend at www.myspace.com/supergaydetroit. And you will feel your life improve when you do it!

Six Months

Today marks the six-month point my career as celebrity blogger.

I started this whole endeavor with certain goals, specifically to explore what I considered to be the invisible gay community in the city of Detroit and make it a little easier for other people in my shoes (e.g. new-ish to the city) to find what took me a year to even start to get a grasp of. I also wanted to spotlight opportunities for gay socializing that rose above the typical dreck that this city offers in its regular gay scene. And finally, I wanted to joke around.

You can be the judge on how successful I have or have not been in achieving those goals, it really isn't for me to say. What I can comment on is how really quite transformative the entire blog process has been for me personally.

I stated early on and continue to believe that blogging is pretty narcissistic, especially in the way you traditionally see it executed. And I say that as a narcissist. But writing this has honestly changed my life for the better. After saying I wanted to connect with the community, I basically forced myself to chat more freely with gay people I meet, instead of feeling apprehensive or silently judged (I'm not the five-alarm hottie I was at 25). I explore my gay options more, and try to break out of my regular routine to try new places, if only so I can write about them. I have discovered that there are many people out there who feel like I do about the state of the gaytion.

It was after my second piece for Model D, Seven Steps to a Better Gay Detroit (ok, that is one other really cool thing about this - I sometimes actually get paid to write, something I love to do but is not my job), that I ended up at crowded party attended by some gay people I see around but never ever have met. I made a point of going up and introducing myself, because I know they are gay Detroiters and I know they have a passion for the city to which I can relate. I also threw a party at my home, since it's my gay duty and maybe a guest will get a glimpse of why I love living in Detroit. And I made a donation to the Triangle Foundation, an organization for which I have tremendous respect. I guess I realized that if I was going put all that advice in print I'd best get to steppin' and work my way through them! It's too bad I didn't open a gay bar yet.

In two weeks I mark the 20th anniversary of coming out of the closet. I came of age at a time when the gay community was political, angry and united. I would never wish a return to a situation like the height of the AIDS epidemic, but I miss that solidarity. I miss that feeling of being united in a common goal. I miss people being angry for being treated like second-class citizens.

If I can fine-tune my goal for this blog just a tiny bit going into its second six months, I would hope (in the most naive, I'm-gonna-change-the-world kind of way) that it can be a part of the re-formation - or at least increased visibility - of the gay community in Detroit. It could be as simple as getting everyone to show up at the same place on the same night. Maybe it's getting this fucking city and it's mayor to acknowledge the contributions of gay people in the city and make sure the whole damn gay world knows it's welcome here. Whatever it is, I want to do it.

So off I go, onto another Friday night of fun and frolic, looking for signs of intelligent gay life to report back to you, my beloved blog reader. The social consciousness stuff can start next week.

Besos,

SG

I don't care how you get here, just get here if you can

One eminently enjoyable aspect to having any website is tracking your web statistics. I don't get too caught up on my exact number of hits, although obviously the more the mary-er around here, but I do love it when people find this site by googling.

Why? Because people find this site through the most fucked-up keyword searched you can imagine. And you don't have to imagine, because I am going to list the freakiest ones right now. I'm listing with comments, but take from this list what you will ...

10. "gay sport blogspot" - I think they were looking for someone else's blog, maybe?

9. "hitting on a roommate gay" - I wonder how that turned out?

8. "last night a dj saved my life + michelle pfeiffer" - it is almost inconceivable why anyone would google those two things together, but if you do want to do that, I'm the #1 google hit

7. "douching photo" - why me?

6. "detroit 6 mile TS" - again, why?

5. "hot guys bar backing" - I think he might be missing an 'e' ... but then again maybe not?

4. "dirty gay bars in detroit michigan" - it's entirely possible we are talking about different kinds of filth

3. "asshole mayor kwame kilpatrick" - you really have to admire the quest for solidarity that drives this particular search

2. "what is the beauty of the Spirit of Detroit statue" - Well, I guess they got my opinion on that!

1. "grandpa little girl pussy stories" - Definitely the #1 freakiest keyword search, right?


And just for kicks, here are my top ten most popular search items, starting with the most popular:

1. "gay bar detroit" and any permutation of that, including searches for information on particular gay bars, gay bar reviews, gay bar genres ("mature gay bar").

2. "detroit gay life" - Some of these were a little sad, kind of showing people in the same boat I was in when I moved here ("looking for gay detroit," "gay professionals detroit"). Search keywords, like sad songs, say so much.

3. "detroit guerrilla gay bar" - Lots of people looking for these guys! That makes me happy.

4. "packard plant gay superheroes" - You have to admit, that's kind of special.

5. "walk it out fosse" - The most incredible youtube video of all time.

6. "ugly betty white" - So much potential for greatness, yet no one seems to have seen it. Maybe it only needs to live in our imaginations.

7. "gay history" - And Palmer Park history. Someone ought to write a book.

8. "dynadouche" - I can't imagine many people actually blogged on that one.

9. "atlas global bistro" - Hardly surprising, given how much I mention it. By the way, Wednesday nights are still gay night, and the great current bartender is off to greener pastures (NYC) in two weeks. Come say hi.

10. This is a three-way tie: "wound menswear," "proof martini lounge" and "phillip cooley." Yes, Phillip Cooley. Apparently a lot of people search for information on him. Or maybe he is just searching for himself. Only his hairdresser knows for sure.

Supergay Chest Thumper

How embarrassing to have not posted in two weeks! But what a two weeks it's been. Momentarily I will do another Supergay Road Trip blog entry. But I just wanted to do a little chest-thumping, or I guess on this site it might more appropriately be called 'Supergay Auto-Fellatio."

So, you know, when I'm not blogging about the good times and the great taste of gay Detroit, I sometimes work for money. One little project was an article I was thrilled to do for the online Detroit development newsletter Model D a few months ago.

Well they hit their 100th issue two weeks ago and as part of that they named their top 20 favorite features, and yours truly was one of them (you're goddam right it was). Click here to see the feature "A Few of Our Favorite Things."

Model D loves Supergay, and Supergay loves Model D, even though they made some editorial changes to my feature that killed a couple jokes. But you know, I guess they have to have standards.

By the way, watch for Supergay making a very special guest appearance on Model D again very soon!

D-listed

Hey ppl, my little article, "Where the Gays Are," (they picked the name but I approve) appeared in Model D today.

You should read it.

If you are visiting after being referred from the article, Wilkommen, bienvenue, welcome!

The Gay Bar Blight Tour I mentioned in the article can be accessed through the links section at the bottom left.

Heh heh, I said "bottom."

My Personal Gay Brain Drain

There is nothing to set you right like a weekend with your best girlfriends. Of course if you live in Michigan this typically means they need to come back to visit, because we cannot hang onto a homo here.

In this case, six friends who moved away from SE Michigan in the last three or four years all came back for a Reunion Ghettoway Weekend. Naturally they all moved to fabulous locales: Chicago, San Francisco, Miami, Palm Springs. That's just the way it is. But miracle of miracles, the, um, two? of that core group left here in SEM managed to lure them back.

Now don't get me wrong. I am on the record declaring gay life here lacking, but there was no hesitation on everyone's part to come back. If there is one thing that we have going for us here is that you can meet some brilliant people who have no real agenda other than looking for other cool friends. It's a nice contrast to the "who do you know how do you know them" that you can get to varying degrees elsewhere (well, here too a little bit - I'm talking to you, Pronto).

But looking at my friends - a group of winsome, intelligent, funny and fun gay professionals / functional alcoholics in their 30's and early 40's - and thinking about how they all felt the need to move on out of here for self-actualization, made me a tiny bit sad. "Brain drain" is a well-documented phenomenon in SE Michigan, but I think no community is affected by that more acutely than the gay community. It's pretty much a fact of life that when you are done with professional school or have reached a certain point in your career, you head on out of Michigan for the greener gay pastures of cities such as SF, NYC, Chicago. Miami, Fort Lauderdale, Atlanta, LA, DC, Boston, Pittsburgh, Minneapolis, Palm Springs, Portland, San Diego, Austin or even Columbus (yes, shockingly, even Columbus has their gay act together).

Last January Between the Lines published an article about "Gay Brain Drain" that was laughable in its scope. Sure, interesting topic, right? Well apparently the fact that gays in professional fields would leave is so taken for granted that the "brain drain" they discussed involved "waiters, designers and people who work in retail." The gay working class.

Man, when they are leaving your town, you know you've got problems. The big reason cited in the article for not moving? "Money. Honey, if I hit the lottery ... "

Yeah.

The one thing that article did get right was the universal sense that Ferndale does not qualify as a gay neighborhood; it's just a city with a lot of gay residents. "A district needs more of a draw than two gay bars, a bookstore, a community center and a half-gay restaurant." Thank you.

So what does this have to do with anything? I don't know, I forgot where I was going with this about ten minutes ago. But the fact of the matter is that I had a blast with my gay friends this weekend, and I wish there were enough cool, funny, culturally literate, non-self-loathing, well-dressed, professional, cosmopolitan gays with high expectations in this area that I didn't have to travel or wait for a visit to get a little fabulous in my life.

Oh, and believe it or not, this is me in my post-weekend LESS bitter mode!

My friend with the Vagina Power

Alexyss Tyler is my friend on MySpace now. Why aren't you?

http://www.myspace.com/supergaydetroit

Math

Population of Metro Detroit = 4,500,000

Percentage of general population assumed to be gay = 10%

Percentage of population that is male = 49%

Shave off a fraction for the underage set = 25%

Total guess on percentage of males in metro area with professional careers = 35%

Simple math and some broad assumptions leave me with the following conclusion: there are 57,881 professional gay men over 21 in Metro Detroit.

Does it seem like that many to you? Where the hell are they all?

Supergay is on MySpace

Supergay Detroit is now on MySpace. If being my friend is something you think you would enjoy, then by all means add me!

Expectations

As I sat around this morning drinking black coffee and nursing the tiniest of hangovers, listening to k.d. lang's Shadowland album (triply gay: lesbotron k.d., in her butch cowboy days, covering a Chris Isaak song. Delish.), it occured to me that perhaps I should set some expectations for anyone unfortunate enough to stumble across this blog and actually read it. Like in a good relationship, discussing expectations early on can avert heartbreak down the road.

First of all, let's make it exceedingly clear that this is a blog. Blogs are, at their very core, completely narcissistic excercises undertaken by people who think what they have to say is important or interesting enough to warrant an audience. I think of it metaphorically as masturbating with an audience. Now of course, sometimes you get the hot guy in the steam room at the gym, as with a blog like Mark Maynard's or Detroitblog. You really don't mind being the audience and frankly, if you've got it, flaunt it.

Unfortunately the majority of blogs are more like the fat old guy wearing a too-short towel in the sauna at the DAC. Avert. Eyes. Immediately. To make another local comparison, something like the South of 8 Mile blog might fall into this category.

This blog will probably be somewhere in between. Think of it as your college roommate from sophomore year who comes home from the bar horny and doesn't care (or maybe he does?) if you are awake and watching. Kind of confusing, kind of hot, and we won't talk about what we've seen after the fact. But it might happen again.

So really, don't take anything I write on here too seriously. It's just my (informed, relevant, fascinating) point-of-view. And feel free to disagree or comment. Comments are welcome.

Secondly, I ain't out to hurt no one. I am taking a critical look at what Detroit has to offer a gay guy with high standards, but who likes the lack of conformity and the diversity of the city. So yes, I may criticize the decor of a bar or restaurant. I may make a remark or two about the fashion choices of a crowd at a show. I might possibly put down the suburbs from time to time. And dear, I will definitely criticize your excessive fake tanning. But this is all in the interest of providing constructive commentary and helping gays like me find community and fabulous good times inside the city limits.

Thirdly, I will help promote great goings-on in the city. Obviously one man cannot know about everything that's going on, but I will help get the word out, with one caveat: it really does have to fit in the scope of this blog. So it will need to be something of interest for gays, or something that will attract gay people, or something along those lines. So run it by me, hopefully I can help get the word out to my enormous readership.

And lastly, for now, I'll try to keep things interesting on here, and post with some frequency. Nothing is more irritating than a blogger who doesn't ever blog.

Hopefully this works for you.

State of the Gaytion

The first post for the much-anticipated SupergayDetroit blog is, naturally, a rant about the state of the gay-tion in the Detroit area.

In a happy moment for Ferndale, they were recently named the third most gay friendly city in the United States by The Advocate. Third! That's tremendously exciting, what in the world did they do to rate this? According to the article in the Royal Oak Daily Tribune, the Advocate was looking for new places to recognize, and in addition to considering census information, household income, quotes from residents and an openness to diversity, they considered:

... quality of public schools, retirement communities and condos, an integrated sense of community and the quality of environment for raising children

OK, excuse me? Quality of public schools? Quality of environment for raising children? What has gay life become? This is what we've fought so hard for, the right to blend?

Being gay used to mean a little bit of fabulous, a little bit of edginess, a little bit of fight and a little bit of fun. It was about standing out, not blending in! And somehow we lost some of that. The fight now is not for protecting our right to be gay, but fighting for our right to act straight. And that truly saddens me.

Now don't get me wrong, it's really important for gay families to have safe and supportive environments. And it's great that more and more gay men and lesbians feel the family life is an option for them. HOWEVER, I don't think it's acceptable that the beacon of hope for the gay community in SE Michigan is an area recognized for it's family friendliness and retirement options! Uh uh, that's not working for me.

So that's what this blog is about: finding the fabulous, the edgy, the fight and the fun in Gay Detroit. SupergayDetroit will be a guide to living your gay life here the right way.

Oh, and for all the smuggles who are saying, "Hey! Ferndale is a great gay area and why would we need anything else?" I offer the following coda from the article in the Daily Tribune:

But you don't have to be gay to enjoy Ferndale, according to new City Manager Bob Bruner, who said Ferndale is a great place for people of all sexual orientations. Ferndale homeowner -- and heterosexual -- Tom Gagne agreed.

"I thought we were gay-friendly for years and I'm glad we finally made that list," said Gagne, who opposed the human rights ordinance because he thought it was unnecessary. "Ferndale isn't just gay-friendly, it's family-friendly, pedestrian-friendly, business-friendly. It's a great, friendly town."

So let's give a big fuuuuuuuuuck you to the Ferndale-ites who minimize the uniqueness of gay life, and who espouse what tends to be the prevailing attitude of the residents of SE Michigan. Oh sure we're gay friendly, just like we're friendly to everyone, like businesses. Because it's exactly the same.