Wednesday, September 19, 2007

I don't care how you get here, just get here if you can

One eminently enjoyable aspect to having any website is tracking your web statistics. I don't get too caught up on my exact number of hits, although obviously the more the mary-er around here, but I do love it when people find this site by googling.

Why? Because people find this site through the most fucked-up keyword searched you can imagine. And you don't have to imagine, because I am going to list the freakiest ones right now. I'm listing with comments, but take from this list what you will ...

10. "gay sport blogspot" - I think they were looking for someone else's blog, maybe?

9. "hitting on a roommate gay" - I wonder how that turned out?

8. "last night a dj saved my life + michelle pfeiffer" - it is almost inconceivable why anyone would google those two things together, but if you do want to do that, I'm the #1 google hit

7. "douching photo" - why me?

6. "detroit 6 mile TS" - again, why?

5. "hot guys bar backing" - I think he might be missing an 'e' ... but then again maybe not?

4. "dirty gay bars in detroit michigan" - it's entirely possible we are talking about different kinds of filth

3. "asshole mayor kwame kilpatrick" - you really have to admire the quest for solidarity that drives this particular search

2. "what is the beauty of the Spirit of Detroit statue" - Well, I guess they got my opinion on that!

1. "grandpa little girl pussy stories" - Definitely the #1 freakiest keyword search, right?

And just for kicks, here are my top ten most popular search items, starting with the most popular:

1. "gay bar detroit" and any permutation of that, including searches for information on particular gay bars, gay bar reviews, gay bar genres ("mature gay bar").

2. "detroit gay life" - Some of these were a little sad, kind of showing people in the same boat I was in when I moved here ("looking for gay detroit," "gay professionals detroit"). Search keywords, like sad songs, say so much.

3. "detroit guerrilla gay bar" - Lots of people looking for these guys! That makes me happy.

4. "packard plant gay superheroes" - You have to admit, that's kind of special.

5. "walk it out fosse" - The most incredible youtube video of all time.

6. "ugly betty white" - So much potential for greatness, yet no one seems to have seen it. Maybe it only needs to live in our imaginations.

7. "gay history" - And Palmer Park history. Someone ought to write a book.

8. "dynadouche" - I can't imagine many people actually blogged on that one.

9. "atlas global bistro" - Hardly surprising, given how much I mention it. By the way, Wednesday nights are still gay night, and the great current bartender is off to greener pastures (NYC) in two weeks. Come say hi.

10. This is a three-way tie: "wound menswear," "proof martini lounge" and "phillip cooley." Yes, Phillip Cooley. Apparently a lot of people search for information on him. Or maybe he is just searching for himself. Only his hairdresser knows for sure.

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