Ring Them Bells

I know you've all been on the edge of your seats, waiting to hear how the Astro Coffee talent show turned out. Since I was gabbing about it so much.

Well it turned out to be crazy fun!  Like, actual crazy.  First of all, you have to see this hall to believe it.  It was super conveniently located just off I-94 at Central and if you blink you miss it, it's that tiny and nondescript.  The inside, however, was anything but nondescript.  I don't have many photos from the night, but this shot of the stage should give you a good idea:

OK, so could it be more perfect?  No way.

Anticipation was palpable as the crowd, an eclectic and electric jumble of Detroiters-about-town, got their beer buzz on and watched the karaoke warm-up.  Sometimes I am not sure if naming names veers into gossip blog territory, so I think it is easier to describe the crowd in general terms.  Folks from many factions showed up to give support, but if you have to break it down it pretty much was hipsters and gays.

As you might expect, there were karaoke highlights even before the talent show began. Event masterplanner and Remains of the D blogger Ryan Schirmang hit a high note while hitting the high notes in the Rolling Stones' "Miss You."  ACLU Power Puff Roland Leggett and man-about-town Stephan performed a dazzling "Proud Mary" to a rapt audience.  Also the guy who runs the karaoke sang a bunch of long songs (Don't you always laugh when they do that?  "OK we have time for two more songs, so I'll be doing Rapper's Delight."  God bless 'em.)

But the main event was of course the Talent Show.  And what an impressive display of talent!  Phil Cooley and Jeff Anderson (in ninja garb) kicked it off with a spooky rendition of Phil Collins' "In the Air Tonight" accompanied on the Casio keyboard.  Dave Mancini's talent was supposed to be drinking a pitcher of beer in ten seconds, but it turned out to be the boot-and-rally.  Good job Dave!!

There was more playing and singing (who did that cool rendition of "Bang Bang"?), and I can't really remember too many other acts before it was my turn on account of the nerves.  Then I got to perform my little song and dance, just me and my tambourine and this Liza showstopper. 

In a gay one-two punch, I was followed by the comedy stylings of Robert M. Nelson, who had the crowd roaring (the gays had tears of laughter running down their faces by the end, although one straight fella told me it was the filthiest act he's ever heard.)  Good job Robert!!

I was super happy that blog reader Miss Cindy Elmwood decided to come to the event and perform too!  She straddled the queer/hipster divide by performing NOT ONLY a song by the Magnetic Fields but also Lady Gaga on the Casio!  Music really does make the people come together!  And all with that fabulous wig - good job Cindy!!

After the show a bunch of the guys who work at Supino's set up their instruments and their band was awesome, everyone was dancing!  Good job Pizzateers!!

When the winners were announced it should come as no surprise that the gays swept the awards.  Hipster irony may be entertaining at the bar, but the gays really know how to razzle-dazzle!  And we take our performing seriously.

Third place went to Robert M. Nelson for his comedy (I told him he didn't have enough jokes to ironically not laugh at).  Second place went to Roland for his karaoke Proud Mary (he didn't even officially enter the talent show and he still beat Robert, it was that great!).  And first place went to me, naturally, for my amazing talent of a complete lack of shame!  Good job Supergay!!

Realistically, I think my win was a thanks for the great job I did of reeling in the queers. So I really want to take a second to thank all the gays for turning out in such large numbers, and giving the event an unexpected element that really helped make the evening a gigantic and entertaining success!

And congrats to the whole event committee for creating the most fantastic benefit I've been to in forever.  I hope thousands of dollars were raised and Astro Coffee will be caffeinating even sooner because of it.  And to the tremendous crowd who paid good money to watch an admittedly crazy show.  And to all the people who pull together to make the city a better place.

Good job Detroit!!

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The Talented Mr. You

I am particulary excited about this Talent Show going on tomorrow night.  I am not exactly sure why, maybe because it is something different than karaoke, maybe it's because it's bringing together social groups who don't always mingle in the city.  Maybe it is because it will be a full-on freakshow.  I just don't know, but I am really looking forward to it.

I scrounged some more details of the show, so I'm just going to give a little narrative for you.

Doors open at 9pm at the General George S. Patton Polish Village Veteran's Hall.  This is located at 4930 Central Avenue, which is between I-94 and Michigan Avenue.  There is an actual Central Avenue exit on 94 so you can get off the freeway, head south and you'll drive right into it.  I have never been to this spot, but it's also on the way to the R&R Saloon so clearly I've passed it on my way to Macho City.

There will be warm-up karaoke from 9 to 11.  This is casual and all should feel free to perform their alternate numbers at this time.  There will also be booze, which should help things get rolling once the talent show starts about 11.

What can you expect at the talent show?  Well, lots of second-rate talent.  If you have reservations about performing, let me just pass along the word that ANYTHING GOES!  Without giving anything away, you can expect to see things like Dave Mancini's 30-second talent that got him all the girls in college, or hear Liz Isakson turn happy songs into sad songs (they say so much).  You can hear me - yes me, Supergay - perform the lullaby my Aunt Liza used to sing to me when I was a gayby, and we will even be blessed with one of Robert M. Nelson's famed spoken-word performances! (Robert is also the Cafe D'Mongo's advice columnist and a real card, you're gonna love him like I love him.  Which is platonically.).

You don't need to know who all these people are to know that any doubts you may have had that your performance doesn't rate were completely unfounded.  You should feel free to sign up with some confidence that you actually might win!  And seriously?  Sign up!  Sing a little song, do a little dance, play the piano, photoshop Brad Pitt together with Anderson Cooper - whatever!  It's all a talent to someone!  You have nothing to lose but your dignity!  Call 313-615-3425 or message the organizers on the Facebook page!

 It's a talent!  Call now!

Now the admission is $20, and yes that is US currency, unless you are performing in which case it is $10.  The whole shebang is to benefit Astro Coffee, which you may have read about in this week's Model D.  Don't worry, the owner is not funding the entire start-up through janky talent shows.  This is just to give things a little extra jolt, just like Astro Coffee will do for you once they open up!

Marvin with Model D took this great photo of the future Astro Coffee!

Advance conversations with everyone I can talk to about this lead me to believe this event with have a MoCAD event-like eclectic quality to its crowd:  a dash of hipster, a dollop of gay, a smidge of cool suburbanite and a smattering of Detroit scenester.  It's going to be awesome! 
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