Ring Them Bells

I know you've all been on the edge of your seats, waiting to hear how the Astro Coffee talent show turned out. Since I was gabbing about it so much.

Well it turned out to be crazy fun!  Like, actual crazy.  First of all, you have to see this hall to believe it.  It was super conveniently located just off I-94 at Central and if you blink you miss it, it's that tiny and nondescript.  The inside, however, was anything but nondescript.  I don't have many photos from the night, but this shot of the stage should give you a good idea:

OK, so could it be more perfect?  No way.

Anticipation was palpable as the crowd, an eclectic and electric jumble of Detroiters-about-town, got their beer buzz on and watched the karaoke warm-up.  Sometimes I am not sure if naming names veers into gossip blog territory, so I think it is easier to describe the crowd in general terms.  Folks from many factions showed up to give support, but if you have to break it down it pretty much was hipsters and gays.

As you might expect, there were karaoke highlights even before the talent show began. Event masterplanner and Remains of the D blogger Ryan Schirmang hit a high note while hitting the high notes in the Rolling Stones' "Miss You."  ACLU Power Puff Roland Leggett and man-about-town Stephan performed a dazzling "Proud Mary" to a rapt audience.  Also the guy who runs the karaoke sang a bunch of long songs (Don't you always laugh when they do that?  "OK we have time for two more songs, so I'll be doing Rapper's Delight."  God bless 'em.)

But the main event was of course the Talent Show.  And what an impressive display of talent!  Phil Cooley and Jeff Anderson (in ninja garb) kicked it off with a spooky rendition of Phil Collins' "In the Air Tonight" accompanied on the Casio keyboard.  Dave Mancini's talent was supposed to be drinking a pitcher of beer in ten seconds, but it turned out to be the boot-and-rally.  Good job Dave!!

There was more playing and singing (who did that cool rendition of "Bang Bang"?), and I can't really remember too many other acts before it was my turn on account of the nerves.  Then I got to perform my little song and dance, just me and my tambourine and this Liza showstopper. 

In a gay one-two punch, I was followed by the comedy stylings of Robert M. Nelson, who had the crowd roaring (the gays had tears of laughter running down their faces by the end, although one straight fella told me it was the filthiest act he's ever heard.)  Good job Robert!!

I was super happy that blog reader Miss Cindy Elmwood decided to come to the event and perform too!  She straddled the queer/hipster divide by performing NOT ONLY a song by the Magnetic Fields but also Lady Gaga on the Casio!  Music really does make the people come together!  And all with that fabulous wig - good job Cindy!!

After the show a bunch of the guys who work at Supino's set up their instruments and their band was awesome, everyone was dancing!  Good job Pizzateers!!

When the winners were announced it should come as no surprise that the gays swept the awards.  Hipster irony may be entertaining at the bar, but the gays really know how to razzle-dazzle!  And we take our performing seriously.

Third place went to Robert M. Nelson for his comedy (I told him he didn't have enough jokes to ironically not laugh at).  Second place went to Roland for his karaoke Proud Mary (he didn't even officially enter the talent show and he still beat Robert, it was that great!).  And first place went to me, naturally, for my amazing talent of a complete lack of shame!  Good job Supergay!!

Realistically, I think my win was a thanks for the great job I did of reeling in the queers. So I really want to take a second to thank all the gays for turning out in such large numbers, and giving the event an unexpected element that really helped make the evening a gigantic and entertaining success!

And congrats to the whole event committee for creating the most fantastic benefit I've been to in forever.  I hope thousands of dollars were raised and Astro Coffee will be caffeinating even sooner because of it.  And to the tremendous crowd who paid good money to watch an admittedly crazy show.  And to all the people who pull together to make the city a better place.

Good job Detroit!!

.