Saturday, February 28, 2009

Douchebags invade downtown

I just want to know where the normal people downtown have gone tonight. It's like douchebag central down here.

Left work late and headed to the bar at Atlas Global Bistro for eats where I witnessed a drunk woman wearing an unfortunately sleeveless top talk at the top of her lungs about all the racial and economic injustice in America.

To make matters worse she irritated the older guy next to her who was a bona fide asshole (apparently he owns the
shop in Eastern Market that sells all the giant ceramic pots) and he kept antagonizing her. "Let's settle this by who spends more here." Seriously?

Not to be outdone, he exited by making this parting comment, "She just wants some black dick" (because she was a white woman and was with a black man). The most annoying woman in the world had my sympathy by the time he left. At least until she spent the next fifteen minutes bitching about him and crying. She was overserved.

Fortunately that all distracted me from the first part of the evening and the dude who lived at 32 Mile Road and friends next to me clamoring to get the Wings game on television. Their big nights out usually include Fishbones in St. Claire Shores but they'd ventured downtown for the Wings. Their conversations were beyond boring and their clothes even worse. Mock turtlenecks, anyone?

Fortunately some friends came to meet me for a while so I was able to pass the time reasonably well, but when they were ready to leave I had to move on.

Went to the Park Bar as a reflexive action. Loved that the super cute guy from the band
Shoe was bartending, but could not deal with the total douchebaggery that surrounded half the bar. I'm talking fake-n-bake girls with dark eyeliner and chunky hightlights, and guys with gold chains smoking cigars. WTF?

Obviously that wasn't going to work. So I paid the cover to head into Cliff Bell's next door, because that is always such a good scene. Surprise? More douchebags and only a handful of the good folks. I plugged in to blog this and some dude with a backward baseball cap actually tried to surreptitiously take my picture! I think it was the 'stache.

Turnabout is fair play.

I don't know where everyone cool is tonight, it's kind of a disaster. Maybe I will head to D'Mongo's for last-ditch coolness. At least tomorrow night at Cirque there will be fun. I hope.

The FJC always does a good job of being cool. And classy. Ish.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Last night

Was the straightest Tony Awards program ever.

Seriously - musical numbers, Hugh Jackman hosting, openly gay acceptance speeches and that fabulous set? That was a good program.

[BTW mark your calendars - the real Tony Awards aka the Gay Oscars are Sunday, June 7 on CBS!]


Saturday, February 21, 2009


Isn't it funny how just when you announce you are out of creative steam a new geyser erupts? And all it took was me getting off my duff and staying out on a Friday past 9pm.

As you know, I am a fan of our grassroots gay scene downtown. One gay night I love is the bi-weekly Fierce Hot Mess dance party at Oslo. Now as much as I love it, I've been actually pretty remiss in attending over this winter season. It seems every time I plan to attend I go home to disco nap and wake up at 3am. Or else I have other plans that don't entail downtown. Or I am clinically depressed and can't leave the house.

Last night I finally had enough momentum going at 11 o'clock to hit FHM. Unfortunately it seemed to be an off night, so while I saw a lot of people I knew, there wasn't the usual party scene going on. Sometimes I wonder if being bi-weekly causes events in general to suffer a bit, cuz when you are thinking of skipping you can always say, "well, I'll go in two weeks." But when it's monthly, you need to get up and get your dance on or you've got a long wait. I dunno, I'm clearly no expert on promoting.

Anyway, I had some fun people to hang out with and I met some new folks so it was good for me. We danced a little bit, hung out, and then decided to head over to D'Mongo's a block over in Capitol Park.

D'Mongo's turned out to be hopping, with a nice saucy gay presence (that wasn't entirely our group). That place is just really so cool, everytime I go is a good time. Anyway, I ended up chatting with this cute boy I'd met at Oslo and we were talking about this and that, and it turned out we went to the same high school. So of course he asked what year I graduated. I told him and there was a pause, and then he said, "That's the year I was born."

Wellll, yeah so that was funny. We did have a fun chat though and now we might be text buddies and that's always a good time. But I put a blurb about it as my facebook status and was accused of being a cougar. A spirited debate ensued about what you call a man-cougar.

A "mougar"? Kinda creepy sounding.

Then my friend Christy came up with "manther." Much better than mougar. And WAY better than Saturday Night Live's offering "cougay." Manther is solid gold.

And apparently I am one, or at least was that night. I can't help it, boys like the moostash (emphasis on the second syllable, natch).

It was great just to bust out of my rut, though. This winter has been rough, and I only wish I had busted out sooner.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

This could be a while.

Nothing personal kids, but (a) I don't really have anything interesting to write about lately because (b) I'm far too busy with work to even have time to think about blogging.

I'll get back to it eventually, probably soon because the economy is going to turn around any second.

In the meantime feel free to stop by Doggy Style some Tuesday, I do still have to do that. It's over for the season at the end of March, FYI. So come to the Park Bar! Or don't, I actually am fine either way.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The closet wounds.

As I move through life I am continually a witness to the problems that arise from people who are in the closet about their homosexuality.

The fundamental problem with the closet, of course, is that it forces you to lie. And to lie about lies. Your life becomes a web of lies. And that's bad, mkay?

But the closet also affects the people around you. A wife and kids, perhaps. Family members. The real femmy guy you beat up in high school to prove you were not gay. That kind of thing.

But it can even affect the world around you, I got to thinking recently. For a completely hypothetical situation, let's say you are a man - maybe even an elected official - with a good name, and as a cover you married a woman who was a real choice piece of ghetto ass who subsequently coasted into elected office on your coattails?

And then what if this poor beard selection started systematically eliminating any shred of dignity her elected office previously held? And fought real progress in the name of favoritism and special interest? And shamelessly hit on other men in public, including prominent local business leaders? And continually embarrassed you and the entire region where she held office?

Now this is completely and totally hypothetical and is decidedly NOT about any real-life elected officials that I know of. But this nightmare scenario was just a place my mind ran this morning while catching up on the news, and I felt compelled to reiterate: if you are gay, coming out of the closet and ditching your shame will make your world - and possibly the world around you - a better place.


My current obsession

OK actually it's been an obsession for about three years. I own all the VHS tapes of this and am thinking of buying a LaserDisc player just so I can buy all the episodes in their original and only published format.

Enjoy some Aerobicise. Now or every Tuesday at Doggy Style.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


My friends who now live in Palm Springs were back in town for a day yesterday, so we went out to dinner at Roast (after trying Slows which was closed for a staff party, and Angelina and Small Plates which are closed on Monday).

It turned out to be the perfect stroke of Divine intervention. I know it's got all the hype right now from
winning Restaurant of the Year in the Free Press but man, that place is awesome. Good service, decent decor, great prices and awesome food. If it weren't so corporate it would be my new hangout. I love it. And it was great to spend time with awesome friends on a return visit and have a fantastic dining experience downtown.

I recommend you go immediately or sooner, unless you are a vegetarian. That place is pretty much perfect. That is all.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Well Hello!

Hey what's going on?

Listen, I'm still completely swamped with real world work. It will be four weeks without a day off by the time things (hopefully) let up. I hate a down economy, you have to work so hard.

In the meantime there are a few random things I would enjoy addressing with you, things that could be addressed in bigger, more comprehensive posts. But sometimes it's just good to clear out the backlog.

The Terrorists Won
I got my car back from its latest repair and I got a Club.

Gayer Than Ever Before
The Dirty Show is going on right now and it has a ton of gay stuff in it this year. Like, super high calibre gay erotic art. Here's an excerpt from the email I got from Jerry Vile, the creator of the Dirty Show.

[We have] the the lovely work of Michael Breyette, funny and clever work spins by Harald Seiwart, gone too far imagination of Marc DeBauch, the disturbing hardcore of Bruce LaBruce and the premiere of Clive Barker's erotic photos (I think he has pretty much redefined beefcake, and has taken the male nude to some place we have not seen before). There are a few local artists as well -- we have more gay art than ever before in our history .... So if your readers like cock, you may let them know we have plenty of sweet juicy cocks all over the place - we aren't a few talking inches here - you'll need a yardstick.

Now I missed the boat on telling you about this before the opening last Friday, but the show is still on this Friday and Saturday. A few years ago I went with my friend Laurita Guarita Los Angeles Jara Perez and we had a filthy charicature drawn of me banging her (what else?) doggy style, which she kept on her fridge for an uncomfortably long time.

So if you want to see yards and yards of cock (plus some great people watching) I definitely recommend a stop by the Dirty Show. It's at
Bert's Warehouse Theater in Eastern Market this Friday and Saturday.

So Zaccaro's Market in Midtown
announced their closing today. Even though they were a bit expensive they were a convenient stop for some nicer grocery-type items, and I will miss them. After I take advantage of their 20% off clearance sale.

Business As Usual
Cutting up to
Cafe 1923 on McDougall today I passed some kind of resale/fencing operation and saw somebody loading one of those Grosse Pointe art frogs into their car. It's not so much the weirdness of seeing a questionable operation on the near East Side, but the fact that someone actually swiped one of those stupid frogs, and that someone else wanted one.

Of course it could have been a fully legit repair operation too. Surrounded by burned-out houses.

I Love the Theatahhhh!
University of Detroit-Mercy's Theater Company is
putting on a show! "Speech and Debate" is a play is about misfit teens, two dealing with their sexuality through the speech and debate club they are trying to form - all the while exploring the drama of a scandal in their high school.

This touching comedy runs through this weekend, so check it out early and often! Shows are Friday and Saturday at 8:00 p.m. and Sunday at 2:00 p.m. Tickets are $15 and $13, with students only $9 and UDM and Marygrove students only $5. The performances are held at the Marygrove College Theatre, 8425 W. McNichols Rd, Detroit, MI 48221.

It's great to see some gay-themed work being presented at our fine Catholic institutions of higher learning. A good turnout can insure more creative gay-friendly content in the future!

Gotta Nickel?
So I have been obsessed with the gay mustache for a while now, ever since wallowing in 70s nostalgia early last summer. Not the hipster handlebar mustache, but the gay stays-on-the-upper-lip mustache.

When Milk was released with James Franco looking sexy with a 'stache I became even more obsessed. And then the New York Times
weighed in in the Thursday Styles a few weeks ago, ironically right at the time I had started growing my beard just so I could save the mustache for a bit when I shaved it off to see how it looks.

Well anyway, during the growing-in period I decided that I wanted to help bring back the gay mustache, so for late winter/spring I am sporting one proudly. I have to say so far the reception has been mostly positive, it's about 75/25 wants-to-make-out vs. shave-that-off-now. We'll see how it goes.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009


No I'm not talking about the LGBTQRS community center in Ferndale, as fab as it is. I'm talking about affirming ME. And Model D did a very nice job of brightening up my week in this Blog Roundup.

Thanks Model D. Love you, mean it.

And thanks N. for this image!


Monday, February 2, 2009

Sunday, February 1, 2009

These have always brought me luck ...

Good luck to whomever is playing in the Super Bowl! I hope your team wins. And I hope the commercials are enjoyable for those of you who don't care. That includes me, I'm only watching at my friends' house for the commercials and the sports snacks.

Here you can enjoy one of my all-time favorite commercials, featuring the greatest use of the soft-focus lens since Lucille Ball's Mame!

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