Just in case you thought it was all sunshine and puppydogs for gays in the New Millennium, here's something to make you think:
Dying Lesbian's Partner Denied Access To Her
by 365Gay.com Newscenter Staff
Posted: February 22, 2008 - 1:00 pm ET
(Miami, Florida) Janice Langbehn and Lisa Pond had planned to take their three children on a family cruise. The Olympia, Washington couple had been together 18 years and with their children were looking forward to the holiday.
But just as they were about to depart on the cruise from Miami, Florida. Pond, a healthy 39-year-old, suddenly collapsed. She was rushed to Jackson Memorial Hospital in Miami with Langbehn and the children following close behind.
But once Langbehn and the children arrived at the hospital the hospital refused to accept information from her about Ponds’s medical history.
Langbehn says she was informed that she was in an antigay city and state, and she could expect to receive no information or acknowledgment as family.
A doctor finally spoke with Janice telling her that there was no chance of recovery.
Other than one five minute visit, which was orchestrated by a Catholic priest at Langbehn’s request to perform last rites, and despite the doctor’s acknowledgement that no medical reason existed to prevent visitation, neither she nor her children were allowed to see Pond until nearly eight hours after their arrival.
Soon after Pond'’s death, Langbehn tried to get her death certificate in order to get life insurance and Social Security benefits for their children. She was denied both by the State of Florida and the Dade County Medical Examiner.
(more at the link)
This year's Presidential election is critical to the gay civil rights movement not just because we don't need another enemy in the White House blocking helpful legislation, but the Supreme Court is at the tipping point. It's already a little rough for us on there, and one more conservative appointment is going to insure that problems like the one this poor woman encountered in Florida don't go away anytime soon.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Hung Up on Soul Train
Doggy Style at the Park Bar has been fun and getting better each week. If you are wondering what you are missing here's a peek.
I found this Soul Train video about a year ago and discovered that if I played Madonna's "Hung Up" over it, it made a much more satisfying video than the official Madge version.
Plus who knew there were so many gay guys on Soul Train in the '70's?? Come on and vogue!
I found this Soul Train video about a year ago and discovered that if I played Madonna's "Hung Up" over it, it made a much more satisfying video than the official Madge version.
Plus who knew there were so many gay guys on Soul Train in the '70's?? Come on and vogue!
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Dear Supergay ...
Since adding an email link to my blogger profile last month I've received several messages and Amazon gift cards from Supergay readers. It is something I didn't really anticipate, but I am so glad to get feedback and presents.
One Midtown reader recently sent me a very thoughtful e-mail that gently challenged me on some of my recent comments about certain gay bars in Detroit. He asked, essentially, what is my problem with every Detroit gay bar I have ever mentioned?
That is a very good question. I know I've touched on it here and there, but apparently not with any clarity and perhaps a little insensitivity toward the people who make their livelihoods there. So I spent quite a bit of time responding to this question (and a few others), and I thought I would share some of my answers here. In the interest of clearing things up for everyone.
The best way to sum up my problem is that I don't think gay bars in Detroit reflect the overall increased sense of openness that the gay community experiences (in general) in the 21st century. I joke that the gay bars in Detroit are stuck in the gay shame of the 80's, but it's actually not a joke. We still scurry around to less-than-desirable neighborhoods and enter discreet, run-down looking buildings with bricked up windows, through the back door more often than not (and not in the good way).
One Midtown reader recently sent me a very thoughtful e-mail that gently challenged me on some of my recent comments about certain gay bars in Detroit. He asked, essentially, what is my problem with every Detroit gay bar I have ever mentioned?
That is a very good question. I know I've touched on it here and there, but apparently not with any clarity and perhaps a little insensitivity toward the people who make their livelihoods there. So I spent quite a bit of time responding to this question (and a few others), and I thought I would share some of my answers here. In the interest of clearing things up for everyone.
The best way to sum up my problem is that I don't think gay bars in Detroit reflect the overall increased sense of openness that the gay community experiences (in general) in the 21st century. I joke that the gay bars in Detroit are stuck in the gay shame of the 80's, but it's actually not a joke. We still scurry around to less-than-desirable neighborhoods and enter discreet, run-down looking buildings with bricked up windows, through the back door more often than not (and not in the good way).
When the /aut/ bar opened in Ann Arbor there was this big hoopla about it having windows and being out in the open and everything. I'd just moved to Michigan from DC and thought it was so strange that people were making such a big deal out of it (in 1995!) Now I really understand that it was kind of revolutionary for SE Michigan.
I do not think every bar needs to be Pronto! in Royal Oak - a very attractive bar I don't particularly care for but do occasionally visit. But the lack of variety in Detroit bars is frustrating. I don't mean drag vs. dance vs. leather kind of variety, I mean the fact that there is so little that is actually "nice." Like nice enough to recommend to a visitor, someplace about which I feel comfortable saying "go to this great gay bar."
I get that gay bars struggle to get a crowd, but there are things that make bars less appealing than they could be, and they are my particular issues with the bars I've mentioned on the blog.
* Cleanliness and upkeep - These bars feel dirty, as in unclean. I don't fear for my health getting a drink, but I'm not anxious to pick up something I've dropped on the floor either. As I noted in my Gay Bar Blight Tour, the R& R smelled like a dirty dick the last time I went. The /aut/ bar - the big gay revelation - didn't repaint for six years, their bathrooms became completely disgusting, and they had the special designation of being the smokiest gay bar in SE Michigan. These are all things that I don't want to notice when I go to a bar.
* Decor - I am not looking for a designer interior, but there are enough resources in the gay community where someone can walk into one of these places and light it better (not brighter, just better) and generally play up the leather or levi or whatever theme in a way that feels newer and interesting. It doesn't even mean an overhaul, it just means some attention to updating a look every ten years or so.
* Programming - It is constant work but there has to be something to draw people in. It just always seems that you get the same old same old when you go to some of these places. Even Pronto is guilty - they play the same damn music video DVD's all the time - how many times do I need to see that Mr. Brightside video? I mean it's good but come on.
I do realize that these points focus on negatives, and I want to state very clearly that I have had a good time at places like the Eagle (with its new-and-improved website) and the /aut/ bar - some great times actually. But to me it comes down to feeling taken advantage of: it's the gay bar, what choice do we have, right? Well, as it turns out, in 2008 we do have other choices and apparently as a community we are exercising them.
This letter was from a longtime Detroit resident who absolutely, 100% gets the ways in which our gay community in the Detroit area is dysfunctional. He put it much more concisely that I could have ever done myself (I know, I'm a little wordy):
(The) census is down at almost every gay bar recently, but I feel there are several reasons for this. Loss of population; Wayne County alone lost 30,000 residents in 2007. This suggests that, whether you believe 5% or 10% of the population is gay, Detroit’s gay bars lost 1500 to 3000 potential customers from Wayne County alone!
Michigan’s draconian drinking/driving laws combined with the lack of adequate mass transit options certainly account as a large factor. The lack of a centrally-located and visible gay ‘ground zero’ has resulted in the Detroit gay community existing in a twisted diaspora motivated by an antiquated sort of racism that is perpetuated by both sides of the color spectrum. This also creates a community that lazily interacts with itself predominantly through the internet.
Those last two sentences still thrill me. "Twisted diaspora" is the most perfect description of the gay community in SE Michigan ever.
He also discussed the Guerrilla Queer Bar phenomenon as contrasted with Disco Secret, the gay/straight hipster happening at the Eagle on Sunday nights, and how each of them contributes differently to gay life in the city. I thought I was the only one who thought about this stuff.
But he did lose me with one point he raised:
Bars such as [these] may well not be perfect in your eyes, however they are all institutions that have stuck with the gay community through thick and thin literally for generations. For this alone they deserve to be patronized, respected and just maybe reinvented and invigorated through the process of this patronization.
My take is this: perhaps a certain amount of loyalty is in order, but these are businesses, not public services. Yes they serve a need in the community, but they make money off the community. It is the responsibility of the business to adapt or even re-invent to engage the customer base. A business that expects patronage as its due is a business that becomes stagnant and, eventually, obsolete. See Carl's Chop House. A successful business that can give to the community is great, but there are many ways to give, and as a gay bar one way is providing the best possible experience. And don't forget that for a business "giving back to the community" is also smart marketing.
One of the reasons I started this blog was to create a resource for people who, like me, were having a hard time finding the kind of gay community they might have enjoyed elsewhere - without going to the suburbs. I have received some really great feedback from people - gay and straight alike - about how good it is to find a discerning gay voice that is pro-Detroit. And as you know, I really am pro-Detroit.
The gay world doesn't need "community" out of dire necessity anymore, but it does need it as a matter of identity, political expedience and social interaction. Owners of businesses that cater to the gay community need to step up and do their part to create a focal point, a destination. Just being a gay bar is no longer enough.
I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings, but this blog exists to challenge the gay Detroit status quo. I sincerely want Detroit's gay bars to succeed, but they need to evolve just as the rest of the gay world has evolved. I don't think being critical of the gay bars in the city constitutes business bashing. As a matter of fact, I like to think of this as a "suggestion box." We aren't going to engage gays who have settled into the suburban social scene without creating a better-executed and more interesting alternative.
I want to sincerely thank this Midtown Reader again for writing. Even though we don't see eye-to-eye on all points, it is always exhilirating to interact with people who also contemplate the issues of Gay Detroit.
Keep those (gift) cards and letters coming!
Monday, February 18, 2008
Detroit Gays Love it Doggy Style!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Happy Valentine's Day
Thematic AND my favorite karaoke tune (Carly and I bring down the house every time).
Don't go breakin' my heart, kids.
Don't go breakin' my heart, kids.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Visiting Creating Change
Thursday night was the first evening of the “Creating Change” conference at the Ren Cen Marriott.
I was home creating change in my own world by cleaning my pad when I got a call from a guy attending the conference who contacted me via this blog last week. Of course in true small world fashion it turned out he was having an election returns party at home in Manhattan last Tuesday and he mentioned to some people that he contacted this supergay blog guy. One of his friends pipes up “I know Supergay!” I am world-famous, bitches.
So this guy, whom I’ll refer to as Money since he works for a grant-making foundation, calls and says I should come down to the Marriott, we can check out the goings-on at the Plenary Session (look it up) and I can brief him on my suggestions for outside activities in Detroit.
The Marriott was abuzz with activity, you had your G, your L, your B and your T all over a place more accustomed to the delightful patrons of a Kenny Chesney concert. We snuck into the speech by Julian Bond, Chairman of the NAACP, who said some really incredibly sensible things about the connections of the fight for civil rights by GLBT community to the fight by African-Americans. It was a really, really unusual voice in a town like Detroit where the homophobia of conservative black churches drives the political agenda.
We cut out, slipping through the “No Scent Area” (it’s the No Smoking Area of the 21st century) and grabbed a quick bite at Seldom Blues (that place is just weird). Then walked around to scope things out ending up at … the hotel bar??
Who even know there was a hotel bar called Riverview, or something like that? Not me, that’s for damn sure. It’s everything you’d expect in a Marriott hotel bar. Not horrible, although I did feel that the décor oppressed me as a gay man. But the place was packed, so we hung out.
Since Money gives away, well, money for a living it was a full meet-and-greet for him, and of course everyone is friendly. That is a good person to hang out with in a room full of gay people. I got to chat with a few people, but more importantly listen to a lot of the talk of the movers and shakers in the movement and get their scoop on what’s going on. One big topic of conversation was the exclusion of trans from the recent passage of ENDA. Was it full selling out? Or was it just a progress marker as we continue to push forward?
Gay marriage was a hot topic too, especially in regard to the whole “vs. civil union” argument. And then there was the cute but drunk guy who on his way out slurred, “I don’t know what we need to do, but what we’re doing now isn’t working.” Or something like that, I was on my way to the bar and didn’t quite catch the whole thing.
The best story involves my moment at the bar. It’s was packed, so you know you’re stuck there for a few while you wait for a drink. The guy next to me starts talking about his big weight loss … 60 lbs .. congrats! Then it goes exactly where I was worried it would go …
“I lost a lot of weight recently, look at my stomach.”
Um, nice?
“I tell you this because I want to help you reach your goal. I had to lose 60, but you only need to lose 20 … “
Um can I just get a drink? Apparently not.
So I chat with Kirstie Alley's BFF for a bit ("we're friends") waiting to place my drink order. Then name dropping goes to a whole new level.
"What celebrity do you think you look like?"
No idea. But back to you.
“What celebrity do I look like?”
I don’t know …
“My brother is Nick Cage."
That must be very exciting for you, but can I just get a drink?
So I'm stuck at the bar for ten more minutes while Nick Cage’s ex-fat gay brother tells me how great I would look if I lost twenty pounds. Not really my ideal evening, but if that's what it takes to get a vodka tonic at the gay conference ...
More importantly I chatted with people seriously involved with the GLBT movement, including the blogger who outed Larry Craig before he was busted in a men’s room, and one of the leaders of the trans movement. All of them just running around in one room mixing and mingling. It took me back to my Capitol Hill days in DC, in a really great way. You forget how exciting that can be.
The night wrapped up early - these people had work to do the next day, and I guess I did too - but how great to have them all here in Detroit. I hope they loved it, and more importantly I hope they didn't go to the Eagle, the R&R Saloon or the Gold Coast. Those places are an embarrassment.
I was home creating change in my own world by cleaning my pad when I got a call from a guy attending the conference who contacted me via this blog last week. Of course in true small world fashion it turned out he was having an election returns party at home in Manhattan last Tuesday and he mentioned to some people that he contacted this supergay blog guy. One of his friends pipes up “I know Supergay!” I am world-famous, bitches.
So this guy, whom I’ll refer to as Money since he works for a grant-making foundation, calls and says I should come down to the Marriott, we can check out the goings-on at the Plenary Session (look it up) and I can brief him on my suggestions for outside activities in Detroit.
The Marriott was abuzz with activity, you had your G, your L, your B and your T all over a place more accustomed to the delightful patrons of a Kenny Chesney concert. We snuck into the speech by Julian Bond, Chairman of the NAACP, who said some really incredibly sensible things about the connections of the fight for civil rights by GLBT community to the fight by African-Americans. It was a really, really unusual voice in a town like Detroit where the homophobia of conservative black churches drives the political agenda.
We cut out, slipping through the “No Scent Area” (it’s the No Smoking Area of the 21st century) and grabbed a quick bite at Seldom Blues (that place is just weird). Then walked around to scope things out ending up at … the hotel bar??
Who even know there was a hotel bar called Riverview, or something like that? Not me, that’s for damn sure. It’s everything you’d expect in a Marriott hotel bar. Not horrible, although I did feel that the décor oppressed me as a gay man. But the place was packed, so we hung out.
Since Money gives away, well, money for a living it was a full meet-and-greet for him, and of course everyone is friendly. That is a good person to hang out with in a room full of gay people. I got to chat with a few people, but more importantly listen to a lot of the talk of the movers and shakers in the movement and get their scoop on what’s going on. One big topic of conversation was the exclusion of trans from the recent passage of ENDA. Was it full selling out? Or was it just a progress marker as we continue to push forward?
Gay marriage was a hot topic too, especially in regard to the whole “vs. civil union” argument. And then there was the cute but drunk guy who on his way out slurred, “I don’t know what we need to do, but what we’re doing now isn’t working.” Or something like that, I was on my way to the bar and didn’t quite catch the whole thing.
The best story involves my moment at the bar. It’s was packed, so you know you’re stuck there for a few while you wait for a drink. The guy next to me starts talking about his big weight loss … 60 lbs .. congrats! Then it goes exactly where I was worried it would go …
“I lost a lot of weight recently, look at my stomach.”
Um, nice?
“I tell you this because I want to help you reach your goal. I had to lose 60, but you only need to lose 20 … “
Um can I just get a drink? Apparently not.
So I chat with Kirstie Alley's BFF for a bit ("we're friends") waiting to place my drink order. Then name dropping goes to a whole new level.
"What celebrity do you think you look like?"
No idea. But back to you.
“What celebrity do I look like?”
I don’t know …
“My brother is Nick Cage."
That must be very exciting for you, but can I just get a drink?
So I'm stuck at the bar for ten more minutes while Nick Cage’s ex-fat gay brother tells me how great I would look if I lost twenty pounds. Not really my ideal evening, but if that's what it takes to get a vodka tonic at the gay conference ...
More importantly I chatted with people seriously involved with the GLBT movement, including the blogger who outed Larry Craig before he was busted in a men’s room, and one of the leaders of the trans movement. All of them just running around in one room mixing and mingling. It took me back to my Capitol Hill days in DC, in a really great way. You forget how exciting that can be.
The night wrapped up early - these people had work to do the next day, and I guess I did too - but how great to have them all here in Detroit. I hope they loved it, and more importantly I hope they didn't go to the Eagle, the R&R Saloon or the Gold Coast. Those places are an embarrassment.
On the Radio
Hi Kids!
It turns out I am reading my most recent piece for Model D on our local public radio station WDET today! Sometime between 11:15 and 11:40.
How does that even happen?
I am sure I don't have the answers. But I do have the link:
http://wdet.org/audio/articles/SG-Final_mp3.MP3
Download it to your MP3 player and listen to it when you work out! It will inspire you!
Besos,
SG
It turns out I am reading my most recent piece for Model D on our local public radio station WDET today! Sometime between 11:15 and 11:40.
How does that even happen?
I am sure I don't have the answers. But I do have the link:
http://wdet.org/audio/articles/SG-Final_mp3.MP3
Download it to your MP3 player and listen to it when you work out! It will inspire you!
Besos,
SG
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Fleet Week
Do you remember that episode of Sex and the City where all the sailors come to NYC and it's "Fleet Week" and a big party and hot guys for hook-ups? Well Detroit is about to get it's own Fleet Week in the form of the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force's "Creating Change" conference.
As I write this, thousands of gays and lesbians (and our trans siblings) from all over the country are descending on the Renaissance Center for a four-day conference focused on building political, leadership and activist skills in the GLBT community. How amazing is that!!
Oh how I love gay activism. As I've discussed before, the gay community was angry when I came out of the closet, and with good reason. Gay men were dying from AIDS and from all appearances the rest of the world was fine with that. So the gay and lesbian community mobilized and got mad and got loud. The activist voice of the community got quieter as the immediate health threat disappeared, to the point the when gay marriage came up as a political issue it was straight white men taking most of the risks.
The very existence of this conference brings me joy, because it means gay activism isn't dead quite yet, and the fact that it is in Detroit brings me to the brink of ecstacy. No, seriously. 2000 gay people descending on Detroit - it's like the gay equivalent of Superbowl XL!
Naturally the thing I am MOST excited for is the 2008 Awareness Ball - a big drag ball on Friday night! Yes kids, there is a full vogue ball in the Mackinac Room at the Ren Cen. I'm talking Paris is Burning! How can you deny yourself categories like "Female figure performance - You're stuck in an alley with nowhere to go .. now it's time to vogue! Dramatic cats in a taste of red vs. soft kitties in a taste of pink." I was so excited when I came across this info I was running around in circles in my living room texting everyone I knew. Doors open at 9, Grand March at 11. This will be the most fun I have all year, I can already tell!
Speaking of fun, for conference attendees and those seeking to sleep with them here are a few recommendations for gay-friendly socializing downtown:
Atlas Global Bistro (3111 Woodward, Detroit) - Great for lunch, dinner, brunch or just hanging at the bar. Gets a semi regular gay-er crowd at the bar in the evenings (it's hit or miss, Miss) but very gay friendly, upscale nice place for the gay or lesbian professional type. Tell them Supergay sent you so I can get some free booze next time I'm there.
Centaur (2233 Park Avenue, Detroit) - Centaur gets a really eclectic crowd - including gays - and has great martinis in a great space. The owner is the only straight guy who kisses me on the lips to say hello every time he sees me. They have actively courted Creating Change attendees, by the way, and are a seriously gay-friendly spot.
Park Bar (2040 Park Avenue, Detroit) - My love for the Park Bar is well-documented on this blog. There's almost always a downtown gay presence. It's a beer-and-a-shot place, but a nice one.
Cliff Bell's (2030 Park Avenue, Detroit) - Right next door to the Park Bar, it's a restored historic nightlife spot with excellent jazz and a GREAT clientele. Always interesting people and always gays in the house. Such an amazing spot, downtown is lucky to have it.
Slows Bar-B-Q (2138 Michigan Avenue, Detroit) - The epicenter of Corktown's hipster scene, Slows is an amazing restaurant that with its attractive design naturally attracts a gay clientele. The food is great and you get to see one of Detroit's cool emerging neighborhoods. Think Williamsburgh circa 1990. Or maybe earlier. Don't forget to check out the Michigan Central Depot across the street, America's largest ruin.
Avalon International Breads (422 W. Willis, Detroit) - Not a nightlife spot, but a Detroit institution. Owned by a super cool lesbian couple, it's a great spot for morning or afternoon coffee and a carb. Gets a verrrry gay midtown crowd passing through. Tons of vegan options for the lesbian in your life.
La Dolce Vita - (17546 Woodward Avenue, Detroit) - Located in the middle of what used to be Detroit's gayborhood, LDV still draws a heavy gay crowd (despite no longer being gay owned). Italian restaurant with a nice bar area. It's on your way to the bars in Royal Oak/Ferndale too.
As for hitting the gay bars in the city, I'm sure the concierge at the Ren Cen Marriott will have all that info. A few notes - the Eagle here is not what you are expecting, Backstreet is in a strip mall, and Gold Coast is tacky as hell. Have fun, they will all be an adventure!
Now for non-visitors, I really need everyone to come downtown this weekend and welcome all these visiting gays in the best way you know how. There will be every color of the gay rainbow represented - diversity is important in the activist world! Gay Detroiters should come down and see how great it will be when the city has a critical mass of gay people, and as a personal favor I am asking you to roll out the red carpet however you possibly can. The city needs all the good PR it can get right now, and if that involves being the welcome mat then so be it. It is Fleet Week, after all.
Why were the SATC girls obsessed with enemas?.
As I write this, thousands of gays and lesbians (and our trans siblings) from all over the country are descending on the Renaissance Center for a four-day conference focused on building political, leadership and activist skills in the GLBT community. How amazing is that!!
Oh how I love gay activism. As I've discussed before, the gay community was angry when I came out of the closet, and with good reason. Gay men were dying from AIDS and from all appearances the rest of the world was fine with that. So the gay and lesbian community mobilized and got mad and got loud. The activist voice of the community got quieter as the immediate health threat disappeared, to the point the when gay marriage came up as a political issue it was straight white men taking most of the risks.
The very existence of this conference brings me joy, because it means gay activism isn't dead quite yet, and the fact that it is in Detroit brings me to the brink of ecstacy. No, seriously. 2000 gay people descending on Detroit - it's like the gay equivalent of Superbowl XL!
Naturally the thing I am MOST excited for is the 2008 Awareness Ball - a big drag ball on Friday night! Yes kids, there is a full vogue ball in the Mackinac Room at the Ren Cen. I'm talking Paris is Burning! How can you deny yourself categories like "Female figure performance - You're stuck in an alley with nowhere to go .. now it's time to vogue! Dramatic cats in a taste of red vs. soft kitties in a taste of pink." I was so excited when I came across this info I was running around in circles in my living room texting everyone I knew. Doors open at 9, Grand March at 11. This will be the most fun I have all year, I can already tell!
Speaking of fun, for conference attendees and those seeking to sleep with them here are a few recommendations for gay-friendly socializing downtown:
Atlas Global Bistro (3111 Woodward, Detroit) - Great for lunch, dinner, brunch or just hanging at the bar. Gets a semi regular gay-er crowd at the bar in the evenings (it's hit or miss, Miss) but very gay friendly, upscale nice place for the gay or lesbian professional type. Tell them Supergay sent you so I can get some free booze next time I'm there.
Centaur (2233 Park Avenue, Detroit) - Centaur gets a really eclectic crowd - including gays - and has great martinis in a great space. The owner is the only straight guy who kisses me on the lips to say hello every time he sees me. They have actively courted Creating Change attendees, by the way, and are a seriously gay-friendly spot.
Park Bar (2040 Park Avenue, Detroit) - My love for the Park Bar is well-documented on this blog. There's almost always a downtown gay presence. It's a beer-and-a-shot place, but a nice one.
Cliff Bell's (2030 Park Avenue, Detroit) - Right next door to the Park Bar, it's a restored historic nightlife spot with excellent jazz and a GREAT clientele. Always interesting people and always gays in the house. Such an amazing spot, downtown is lucky to have it.
Slows Bar-B-Q (2138 Michigan Avenue, Detroit) - The epicenter of Corktown's hipster scene, Slows is an amazing restaurant that with its attractive design naturally attracts a gay clientele. The food is great and you get to see one of Detroit's cool emerging neighborhoods. Think Williamsburgh circa 1990. Or maybe earlier. Don't forget to check out the Michigan Central Depot across the street, America's largest ruin.
Avalon International Breads (422 W. Willis, Detroit) - Not a nightlife spot, but a Detroit institution. Owned by a super cool lesbian couple, it's a great spot for morning or afternoon coffee and a carb. Gets a verrrry gay midtown crowd passing through. Tons of vegan options for the lesbian in your life.
La Dolce Vita - (17546 Woodward Avenue, Detroit) - Located in the middle of what used to be Detroit's gayborhood, LDV still draws a heavy gay crowd (despite no longer being gay owned). Italian restaurant with a nice bar area. It's on your way to the bars in Royal Oak/Ferndale too.
As for hitting the gay bars in the city, I'm sure the concierge at the Ren Cen Marriott will have all that info. A few notes - the Eagle here is not what you are expecting, Backstreet is in a strip mall, and Gold Coast is tacky as hell. Have fun, they will all be an adventure!
Now for non-visitors, I really need everyone to come downtown this weekend and welcome all these visiting gays in the best way you know how. There will be every color of the gay rainbow represented - diversity is important in the activist world! Gay Detroiters should come down and see how great it will be when the city has a critical mass of gay people, and as a personal favor I am asking you to roll out the red carpet however you possibly can. The city needs all the good PR it can get right now, and if that involves being the welcome mat then so be it. It is Fleet Week, after all.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Tuesday Nights, Doggy Style
I'm extraordinarily unhappy with the state of gay bars in the city of Detroit, which you might have noticed if you ever happened to take a look at the Gay Bar Blight Tour I did back in '06. I believe the state of the gay bars in a city are a reflection on the health of that city's gay community, and I find it completely unacceptable that there is not a single gay bar in the city of Detroit that has the amenities the gay community deserves in the 21st century. Windows, for example.
That is why Supergay Detroit and Canine to Five are teaming up to present "Tuesday Nights Doggy Style at the Park Bar," a night for Detroit gays & lesbians and their friends.
That is why Supergay Detroit and Canine to Five are teaming up to present "Tuesday Nights Doggy Style at the Park Bar," a night for Detroit gays & lesbians and their friends.
Click for a larger version, suitable for framing or e-mailing to friends.
In Detroit it's always about proportions. Most places you go will have some gay presence, but it's always small, like a gay couple out for dinner, or a group of gay friends, or a solo gay out with straight friends. It's not conducive to mingling and it really does nothing to emphasize gay visibility in the city.
The Park Bar, located at 2040 Park Avenue in Detroit, is no stranger to a gay clientele, and there have seriously been nights there recently where more than half the people there were gay. And it's always really fun, and kind of exciting to see all the other downtown gays hanging out and mingling. They're a friendly bunch. And it makes you wonder, wouldn't it be great if there were someplace you could regularly get a gay social fix without traveling to a crap bar or the suburbs?
"Doggy Style" is an effort to shift the balance from mostly straight to mostly gay for one night of the week, and to provide an attractive, open, well-located, clean and ... well, normal bar to patronize.
What can you expect at Doggy Style? In additional to the usual good Park Bar vibe, there will be a curated selection of music and video programming designed to appeal to a downtown gay sensibility. So yes, you should expect some Madonna, but also maybe a little New Order, for example. It's meant to be fun and appeal to gays and lesbians and straight folks who like fun. Think guppie meets hipster meets drag queen meets downtown boozehound.
As for Canine to Five's invovlement - first off, the whole thing was owner Liz Blondy's idea. And Liz has made concerted efforts since opening to improve gay quality of life in town, whether it's making introductions among gay folks who might never have connected or hosting special dog parks for gay customers. Canine to Five is definitely an ally in the quest to improve things for us here.
Please pass the word on to your friends, and come down to check it out! There is no conceivable way you won't have fun - it's a whole new gay-er bar experience for Detroit!
Friday, February 1, 2008
HA!
Here's a little SupergayDetroit blind item for you ...
What prominent downtown Detroit architecture firm declined to make a proposal on the new Affirmations Community Center in Ferndale because one of the principals cited a need to not promote a "gay lifestyle"?
I'm blind iteming because I don't want to jeapordize my source, but the controversy that ensued from that info becoming internally known led to the HR department putting forward a comprehensive diversity hiring program.
And by that I mean, a bigoted middle-aged male asserted his assholeness, his growing company told him to grow the fuck up, and said company became a better organization because of it. Even if the straight guys are still uncomfortable about it.
It's a fairy tale ending.
What prominent downtown Detroit architecture firm declined to make a proposal on the new Affirmations Community Center in Ferndale because one of the principals cited a need to not promote a "gay lifestyle"?
I'm blind iteming because I don't want to jeapordize my source, but the controversy that ensued from that info becoming internally known led to the HR department putting forward a comprehensive diversity hiring program.
And by that I mean, a bigoted middle-aged male asserted his assholeness, his growing company told him to grow the fuck up, and said company became a better organization because of it. Even if the straight guys are still uncomfortable about it.
It's a fairy tale ending.
Monday, January 28, 2008
It Takes a Village, People.
With the dawn of a new year comes a renewed sense of purpose. Or at least that's what my therapist says. So I'm taking the Supergay Detroit blog and expanding its scope.
The holiday San Francisco trip was important in many ways. First off, caught up on shopping. Secondly, reaffirmed gay solidarity. And thirdly, realized how much living in Detroit is working for me.
It also gave me a chance to discuss my personal gay agenda and my objectives for this blog with friends who agree with me on key points about our gay identities, and to look at ideas to effect greater change.
One friend, over dinner at the hipsteriest East German restaurant ever, asked me, "How many gay people do you need to move downtown to create a difference?" Isn't that a good question? Thirty, I replied. Thirty this year. And then he said, "You need to create the Supergay Detroit Cultural Enhancement Program."
It was genius. I wish I could take credit for the idea, but in reality I am outspoken but stupid.
So this year, in addition to social commentary, bar reviews, and timewasting youtubing, I am working to create gay change in the city of Detroit. This year, we are going to get thirty new gay people into three key neighborhoods with great gay potential.
Here are the guidelines:
* The goal is new gay residents - we're not poaching from other Detroit neighborhoods. Let's get people who "get it" to move in from the suburbs, and let's snag people moving in from other cities before they are unceremoniously directed toward Royal Oak by their relocation expert.
* We need gay folks who will be publicly engaged with the community - the goal here is visibility, gang, so gays who want to stay home all the time might as well nest in Brighton. We need gays and lesbians who will be out and about. Singles are great, since they are forced out of the house by their desperate loneliness, but couples who want to do more than watch "Lost" snuggled up on the sofa each week are also needed. This is more than hanging out at the bar, it's being gay at the Y, at restaurants, with community groups ... it's being a part of life in the city.
* Newly-hatched gay people who already live in the city count too! Everyone knows Michigan isn't the most evolved place in terms of accepting gays and lesbians, so it tends to take some people longer than others to pull it together and come out of the closet. Instead of shunning these folks, we need to reward their honesty (while secretly recounting their closeted foibles) and make them a part of gay Detroit. And encourage their move to a designated potential gayborhood!
Naturally, Supergay Detroit has taken the time to identify three neighborhoods with amazing gay potential. If you've been a longtime reader then you know my take on gayborhoods. The areas I've selected have hit the mark on several key points, including a moderate gay presence currently, a variety of housing options, geographic desirability and potential for improvement on an individual resident level.
I have selected Midtown (for those skewing young), Lafayette Park (for the more sophisticated and mature gay) and West Village (frankly, for everyone) as Detroit's future gay neighborhoods. I'll take an in-depth look at these neighborhoods over the next few posts.
So these guidelines aren't that hard, are they? It's just about openly gay people moving into neighborhoods with amazing gay potential.
Your goal, gentle reader, is to encourage gay migration to these areas. And it won't be hard. People are tired of the generic homogeneity of Royal Oak. And they are getting frustrated by the lack of options in Ferndale. Detroit is the new gay frontier, (even though it's alway had a huge gay undercurrent), and I am all about pointing out options.
This is the foundation of the 2008 Supergay Detroit Cultural Enhancement Program. I strongly believe change starts from the ground up, so everyone stop waiting for leadership to text you an invitation and accept this one instead. Creating change is our gay birthright, so let's get to it!
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Flamer on Park Ave.
Among the beautiful things of being downtown is the gift of the unexpected. For example, when I went to the Park Bar tonight for what I assumed would be a quiet meeting of friends, it turned out to be the insane pre-party for the Lenny Kravitz concert at the Filmore (f.k.a. State Theater).
And then, for some reason, some guy starts spinning fire and another guy starts playing the didgeridoo outside Park Bar/Cliff Bell's on Park Avenue. I don't know how and I don't know why, but I know it brought me joy.
And then, for some reason, some guy starts spinning fire and another guy starts playing the didgeridoo outside Park Bar/Cliff Bell's on Park Avenue. I don't know how and I don't know why, but I know it brought me joy.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Is it Inn yet?
As you may or may not be aware, Eastern Market on a Saturday morning is a gay hotspot in the city of Detroit. You get queers of every stripe bustling around, picking up gastronomic delights or just getting a high-calibre hangover cure (bacon or a bloody) at one of the many great breakfast spots in the market. It's great to walk around the market just for the people watching - the hot farmer boys, the cactus lady who looks like a drag queen (haven't seen her in a while, though, is she still around?), gay couples galore, and even a tranny once last fall! You may be able to guess how much that thrilled me.
Many people argue about "the best breakfast" in the Market, with Russell Street Deli being the popular choice for many. You will see gays lined up to grab eats there any Saturday. And while it is great, it's always packed, and after you wait in line you have to share a table with people cafeteria-style. Now I'm down with that at the Hudson hotel in Manhattan, but I get less thrilled when I have to share a table with a seven year old. I have a filthy mouth.
Popular doesn't always mean best (ref: high school), so I've turned my sights elsewhere, and discovered possibly the gayest spot in the Market.
Butcher's Inn is located at 1489 Winder, just across the street from R. Hirt. While not a gay restaurant per se, it is gay-owned, and if the waiters the last time I was there aren't gay then I need a gaydar tune-up. But even when the staff isn't gay, the attitude pretty much is. I mean, you've got your Between the Lines right inside the door and everything. The current ownership reopened it last year after an extensive renovation. Gay gentrification is best when it serves booze.
Many people argue about "the best breakfast" in the Market, with Russell Street Deli being the popular choice for many. You will see gays lined up to grab eats there any Saturday. And while it is great, it's always packed, and after you wait in line you have to share a table with people cafeteria-style. Now I'm down with that at the Hudson hotel in Manhattan, but I get less thrilled when I have to share a table with a seven year old. I have a filthy mouth.
Popular doesn't always mean best (ref: high school), so I've turned my sights elsewhere, and discovered possibly the gayest spot in the Market.
Butcher's Inn is located at 1489 Winder, just across the street from R. Hirt. While not a gay restaurant per se, it is gay-owned, and if the waiters the last time I was there aren't gay then I need a gaydar tune-up. But even when the staff isn't gay, the attitude pretty much is. I mean, you've got your Between the Lines right inside the door and everything. The current ownership reopened it last year after an extensive renovation. Gay gentrification is best when it serves booze.
Still might be considered a whorehouse,
depending on which one of you shows up.
The place is pretty cool inside, all historic 'n' shit. First of all, points because it used to be a whorehouse. Second of all, there is a ton of very fun ye olde Detroit memorabilia on the walls, and not in a typical Detroit memorabilia kind of way. For instance, minimal sporting references - that turns me on.
On a recent Saturday morning visit we didn't have to wait for a table and our cute gay (probably) waiter was like "bloody mary?" right away. We weren't drinking, but that didn't stop him from offering a bloody mary every time he stopped by the table. That also turns me on. He was fun and personable and Detroity and great, and you know it's always better when you have a good server.
But really the best thing there is the food, though. It comes out pretty quickly, which is great on a Saturday morning, and as far as my untrained palate can tell it's fresh and tasty. Most of the stuff is from the Market area. The thing that really blew me away the first time I went was how good their sausage was - um, it turned me on. But seriously, it's really really good, and when even the rye toast is impressive, you know you've hit a winner.
I have never been there for dinner, but they do stay open in the evenings. Open mic nights and live music potentially make it less appealing from a gay perspective, but certainly not from a general person perspective. To their great credit they started having a gay night on Mondays last year, but it fizzled out before I could get there. Eh bien. Mondays are hard, and word of mouth isn't always the fastest advertising.
The clientele each time I've been there has also had gay representation (aside from me), and it tends to be a little less Royal Oak gays and more like East English Village gay types. And that turns, well, you know.
So let the suburban gays follow the crowd to Russell Street - you head over to Butcher's Inn and have a real gay Market day.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Hawkins Ferry: The Original A-Gay
In the grand pantheon of Supergay Heroes, one stands higher than the others. W. Hawkins Ferry, who died twenty years ago this month, was born to Detroit royalty and lived a life that was not only seventeen kinds of fabulous, it left a legacy that is felt widely through the area to this day. He was the original Detroit A-Gay.
The appropriately-named Ferry is best known for writing the definitive book on Detroit architecture, The Buildings of Detroit. Long out of print (it was published in 1968 with an update done in 1980), this book throws local architecture buffs and Detroit lovers into a frenzy. Some consider finding a copy of this book a Detroit rite of passage, although it really only usually takes a trip to John King books.
While “the book” is his claim to fame among the hoi polloi, the cognoscenti know he is a major figure in Detroit’s cultural history. An heir to the Ferry Seed Company fortune, he came from a long family tradition of arts appreciation and philanthropy - his grandfather, Dexter M. Ferry, was one of the founding fathers of the Detroit Institute of Arts. Hawkins himself was a trustee of the DIA from 1960 to his death, and sat on the Collector’s Committee, the group that decides on art acquisitions for the museum. He was also president of the Friends of Modern Art for years. He attended Cranbrook and was a Harvard-trained architect and architectural historian who studied under the Bauhaus greats Walter Gropius and Marcel Breuer.
Hawkins Ferry was by all accounts a “confirmed bachelor,” and his sexual preference was generally known if not openly discussed. Genteel and well-mannered, he was a fixture in Grosse Pointe society, but notably did not marry and succumb to the phenomenon we now know as Grosse Pointe Gay. Snaps for Hawkins! From the 1940’s through the 1980’s he participated in the conservative worlds of philanthropy and society not just as a fringe character, but as a major player. Being gay was not super cool then like it is now, but he had money, education, pedigree (don’t pretend it doesn’t matter), taste, access, and drive.
As a patron of the arts, Ferry amassed an impressive collection of Surrealist and Abstract Expressionist art, which he bought for his own enjoyment and for the purpose of donating to the DIA. He bought all the great 20th century modern artists: Picasso, Calder, Arp, Maholy-Nagy, Leger, Miro, Giaocametti, and Rauschenberg, among others. In his New York Times obituary Jan van der Marck, the DIA’s curator of 20th century art at the time, said, “He bought more ambitiously than the curators dared to propose.” Over the years he donated an entire collection to the DIA - which was the subject of an exhibit in 1987 and a book by Wayne State University Press - with the rest of his personal collection given to the museum after his death. His gifts to the DIA form the core of their modern collection today.
He also left an architectural legacy, most notably bringing modernist master Marcel Breuer to Grosse Pointe to build their Central Library branch in the late 1940’s. (Once upon a time modern wasn’t a dirty word in the land of Lilly Pulitzer.) He even threw in a Calder mobile as a gift with purchase. This building was added to the endangered modernist building list last year when the GP library board announced plans to raze the building and construct a new building with more space. There is a great write-up about the effort to save the building and some additional pictures here, and it appears the building has been issued a reprieve. Grosse Pointers may not like modern, but they like being called cultural Neanderthals even less.
The appropriately-named Ferry is best known for writing the definitive book on Detroit architecture, The Buildings of Detroit. Long out of print (it was published in 1968 with an update done in 1980), this book throws local architecture buffs and Detroit lovers into a frenzy. Some consider finding a copy of this book a Detroit rite of passage, although it really only usually takes a trip to John King books.
While “the book” is his claim to fame among the hoi polloi, the cognoscenti know he is a major figure in Detroit’s cultural history. An heir to the Ferry Seed Company fortune, he came from a long family tradition of arts appreciation and philanthropy - his grandfather, Dexter M. Ferry, was one of the founding fathers of the Detroit Institute of Arts. Hawkins himself was a trustee of the DIA from 1960 to his death, and sat on the Collector’s Committee, the group that decides on art acquisitions for the museum. He was also president of the Friends of Modern Art for years. He attended Cranbrook and was a Harvard-trained architect and architectural historian who studied under the Bauhaus greats Walter Gropius and Marcel Breuer.
Hawkins Ferry was by all accounts a “confirmed bachelor,” and his sexual preference was generally known if not openly discussed. Genteel and well-mannered, he was a fixture in Grosse Pointe society, but notably did not marry and succumb to the phenomenon we now know as Grosse Pointe Gay. Snaps for Hawkins! From the 1940’s through the 1980’s he participated in the conservative worlds of philanthropy and society not just as a fringe character, but as a major player. Being gay was not super cool then like it is now, but he had money, education, pedigree (don’t pretend it doesn’t matter), taste, access, and drive.
As a patron of the arts, Ferry amassed an impressive collection of Surrealist and Abstract Expressionist art, which he bought for his own enjoyment and for the purpose of donating to the DIA. He bought all the great 20th century modern artists: Picasso, Calder, Arp, Maholy-Nagy, Leger, Miro, Giaocametti, and Rauschenberg, among others. In his New York Times obituary Jan van der Marck, the DIA’s curator of 20th century art at the time, said, “He bought more ambitiously than the curators dared to propose.” Over the years he donated an entire collection to the DIA - which was the subject of an exhibit in 1987 and a book by Wayne State University Press - with the rest of his personal collection given to the museum after his death. His gifts to the DIA form the core of their modern collection today.
He also left an architectural legacy, most notably bringing modernist master Marcel Breuer to Grosse Pointe to build their Central Library branch in the late 1940’s. (Once upon a time modern wasn’t a dirty word in the land of Lilly Pulitzer.) He even threw in a Calder mobile as a gift with purchase. This building was added to the endangered modernist building list last year when the GP library board announced plans to raze the building and construct a new building with more space. There is a great write-up about the effort to save the building and some additional pictures here, and it appears the building has been issued a reprieve. Grosse Pointers may not like modern, but they like being called cultural Neanderthals even less.
A rare modernist moment in Grosse Pointe.
Ferry constructed the ultimate bachelor pad on the water in Grosse Pointe Shores. He hired William Kessler to build an International Style villa to use for entertaining and showcasing his art. One architecture expert and three martini lunch companion places it among Kessler’s best work, and attributes that to Ferry’s involvement, saying, “it affirms Hawkins Ferry as the Harvard-trained architect who was very much aware of the International Style as it was coming of age.” It actually might be for sale right now – in foreclosure maybe? – I can’t remember, but one person I was discussing it with said it really can only be the house of a rich gay man – it’s all parties and art and glamour. I’d look into it but it would put me just a bit too close to my parents. Not that I don’t love them to death.
A relatively unattractive photo of an extremely attractive staircase. See this and other photos
from the house's recent real estate listing by following the link in the comments section.
"Have a seat next to the Giacometti."
I do know that a large installation by Harry Bertoia that was left to the DIA but remained in situ under an agreement with a subsequent homeowner was recently removed for restoration and ultimate reinstallation in the DIA. Also, word is the house is starting to show some signs of its age. But man, talk about the ultimate gay fixer upper! And mere footfalls away from the Grosse Pointe Yacht Club for booze and food and tennis to boot! True urban living.
There are a few other bits of the Hawkins Ferry legacy that do not get their own paragraph but warrant mentioning. He endowed a position at the Wayne State University College of Fine, Performing & Communication Arts, the W. Hawkins Ferry Chair in Modern & Contemporary Art History. He was a major part of the “Art in the Stations” commission during the construction of the Detroit People Mover in the ‘80’s, and in fact the Pewabic Pottery mosaic in the Times Square station is dedicated to him. And finally you must know that while Hawkins was apparently not overtly gay acting in any way, his sister’s nickname was “Queenie.” Queenie Ferry! It’s too much.
In Honor of W. Hawkins Ferry: I guess it's the thought that counts.
I have no idea what his private social life was like, although surely he had his straight friends in GP (who doesn't?). I do know that later on in life he had other gay friends through his work at the DIA and with the arts in Michigan. Naturally I know absolutely nothing about his personal life except that if he had any kind of life partner thing going on nobody I talked to knew anything about it.
I always imagined Ferry would travel to see his gay friends in other cities around the world, and he’d have small exquisitely-appointed dinner parties at his house with the crème-de-la-crème of gay society and possibly a barefoot manservant like in “The Birdcage.” It was the fifties and sixties and seventies and there had to be this secret world of A-gays where a shopping weekend in Paris was always an option, as long as you weren’t busy escorting a Grosse Pointe blue hair to a charity gala. And then during the week it was meetings and planning and doing things to make the area just a little more amazing – at a time when there was money and growth and jobs and a touch more optimism.
Here is a man who had the best American education, met the world’s greatest modern architects, collected amazing art, built a gorgeous modern house, brought world-class architecture to his hometown, wrote the bible of local architectural history, was deeply involved with the area’s premiere cultural institution and had the means to inject more fabulous into his life anytime he wanted if somehow he found it lacking. Most importantly, he did not buy into a fully closeted life at a time when gay lib did not yet even exist. I think it’s funny I never picked up on the gay thing with him until someone told me, but it all makes so much sense.
Hawkins Ferry might not have been thrilled about a big Supergay writeup about his life, but we live in such different times now and I think it’s important to shed light on the contributions that gay people have made and continue to make to life in Detroit. It is fantastic that, in an area where there are few gay role models, we can point to a gay man who did so much, well, gay good stuff, and who did it right and did it with class. That’s a real gay hero.
Remember how cute Jonathan Richman was?
He just popped up on my iTunes. The original hipster.
What was that about a "little dinosaur"?
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Gay Trash
There has been follow-up from the San Francisco visit. A third party forwarded the following email to the friends I was visiting the day after my departure ...
Dear Mrs. Kravitz,
I was walking my dog (and minding my own business) and couldn't help but notice what was in your neighbor's recycling bin. Who do they think they are: Lindsay Lohan? How can they live on Fresca, Diet Red Bull, Veuve Cliquot, Ghiradelli Chocolates and Pellegrino? Is this some kind of Gay holiday diet?
It's as small a gay town as our very own Detroit, it seems. Or at least as nosy.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Simply Sandra
The centerpiece of the Supergay Holiday Getaway was New Year’s Eve … Sandra Bernhard at the historic Castro Theater. Goin' gay all the way into 2008!
Sandra live is not quite the same as Sandra on tape. She gets angry. She tells screaming fans in the audience to shut up ...
Sandy has been near and dear to my heart since the summer of ’89, when I somehow picked up the cassette of her one-woman show “Without You I’m Nothing” at Tower Records while on a summer internship in Washington, DC (unfortunately that was the extent of my picking up that summer). It was a new kind of comedy, unlike anything else I’d encountered before – that emotive, evocative, intellectual storytelling where the point was to engage as well as entertain. It changed my life! And it changed the life of my friends at college the following year as we made it the soundtrack of our late-night drives to Good Harbor Beach in Gloucester, Mass.
A scene from "Without You I'm Nothing," the movie.
Over the years Sandra wore many faces …
Madonna’s BFF, Madonna’s ex-BFF, angry ambiguous lesbian, angry affirmed lesbian ... she carved out her own niche in the world of comedy cabaret and she owned it. At a show during the Ann Arbor Summer Festival back in ’05 (never underestimate the power of the Ann Arbor Summer Festival), where she was fine-tuning her upcoming show and return to excellence “Everything Bad & Beautiful,” she had transformed into a mature woman open about her sexuality, speaking about her girlfriend and daughter, proclaiming her opinions about the world in which we live, and still being outrageous and touching and sexy. Has a woman with less to offer aesthetically ever been so confident in her sexual appeal? Other than your whorey mom, I say no.Sandra live is not quite the same as Sandra on tape. She gets angry. She tells screaming fans in the audience to shut up ...
“Sandra!!!!” they screamed.
“That isn’t pretty” she replied.
She occasionally lets her rants get the best of her, but always in that jaded, put-out kind of way that makes it seem like your sister bitching. Seeing her be annoyed is half the fun.
Naturally, Sandra had something to say about the gays … “You used to be out partying all night, and now you’re moving to the suburbs” she said with a sneer to the crowd of gays in their 40’s and 50’s . She talked about the drift toward conformity, here in the gay ghetto that once represented the exact opposite. And where was the spirit of Sylvester in the gay world today? (As if to confirm that absence, after the show one of the guys I was there with asked who Sylvester was. Seriously!) The crowd chuckled, of course, but the truth of that did hit a little close to home, as evidenced by conversations overheard after the show.
It wasn’t all politics and annoyance, though. Sandy entertained and interpreted songs her way, starting with “U and UR Hand” by Pink, singing an homage to the San Francisco of old, and ending the night with her now-classic interpretation of Prince’s “Little Red Corvette.”
She doesn’t always win fans with her shows, but if you don’t mind a little confrontation, then there is no better entertainment than Sandra Bernhard. She will confront you and comfort you at the same time, and for the gay community, there is no one better at truly reflecting the cultural zeitgeist than our own Sandy.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
How Gay Are You?
Do you lay awake at night, plagued with self-doubt about whether or not you are gay enough? Do you hesitate to approach friends, family or even strangers on the street to inquire, fearing the news that you do not live fabulously enough in this world?
Well fear no more, there is now a simple test to determine your level of gaiety in the privacy of your own home. Try the Gay-O-Meter today!
Well fear no more, there is now a simple test to determine your level of gaiety in the privacy of your own home. Try the Gay-O-Meter today!
My shameful results. I will be working to improve my gayness in 2008.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
San Fran Epiphany
I’m quite happy in Detroit, but sometimes I just want to be around some gays. OK not some gays, a lot of gays. I want to see them in restaurants, I want to see them shopping, I want to see them meandering from bar to bar. I want to see them walking dogs and hosting dinner parties and working out and grocery shopping. Not one or two gays, but gangles of them. I want to hear Bronski Beat while shopping at Bloomingdale's and discussions of Broadway musicals while reading the paper at a coffeeshop. I want the full immersion program. So I went to San Francisco for New Year’s. And of course SF did not disappoint.
I stayed with two great friends in their tony digs near the Castro. Unlike other visits, this trip was very much about entertaining at home, which was appropriate for the holidays (as well as for the really crappy weather we had), so the visit wasn’t a booze-fueled bar crawl like a holiday at home would have been. Instead, it was a bit like living everyday life in the city, if you lived there and didn’t need to have a job (which is my dream).
I don’t need to recount the obvious joys of San Francisco, mosey out there and check it out yourself. While certainly gentrified to the gills in its post-dot-com way, it still maintains vestiges of it’s boho charm. Reports of an invasion by the stroller set notwithstanding, the Castro remains a thriving and vibrant gayborhood (if quite a bit more upwardly-mobile than my first visit fifteen years ago). It’s literally gay people everywhere you go, an experience I always find a little jarring at first.
It was great to be around so many gays near my age. In Detroit there is a real tendency for guys in their 30’s and 40’s to stay firmly rooted in the OC, or to leave. There is a bit of a lost generation of gays in the Detroit area, where a large portion of the gays born from, say, 1960 to 1975 have moved on to the gay centers of the country. SF, being one of those centers, has every color of the gay rainbow represented: twinks, hipsters, circuit boys, porn stars, bears, guppies, silver foxes, drag queens, leather queens … you get the idea. Oddly, lesbians aren’t that visible here, just like almost everyplace else I’ve ever lived (except Ann Arbor). I swear, they have a secret network of burrows so they can move around unseen.
Near the end of my stay I heard a few stories from long-time residents about how the city was ten, fifteen, twenty years ago. The large beautiful park in the fancy neighborhood my friends live in used to be a haven for drug users and gay cruising.
In the same area very nice homes used to be quite rundown. One guy related a story about passing on buying a building that now houses three expensive condos because he thought it was far too expensive at $300k ten years ago. And of course there are the stories like the NY Times article linked above that depict with a rosy hindsight the glory days of neighborhoods like the Castro or Haight-Ashbury and lament the romance and excitement of those places that is lost now that they've been Starbucked.
Detroit could be said to be in that place right now, and I think people need to start thinking about that. There will be a time when there will be a Starbucks on every corner and we’ll talk with a dreamy look in our eyes about the great community that thrived at Café de Troit, where it seemed like everyone you met was making something happen in town. Lower Cass will get the Ilitch touch and we’ll laugh about the days of dodging crack whores and roosters on our way to Honest John’s. Corktown will turn into Birmingham and we’ll actually miss all those hipsters and Terry-oke at LJ’s.
Let’s keep pushing for progress in town, but don’t forget to appreciate what we’ve got. Detroit is in a really unique place in time right now. Have fun and take advantage of it, because someday we’ll be talking about it like people talk about the Castro or New York City in the ‘70’s. And won’t it be nice to say you actually were a part of it, instead of just a bystander?
I stayed with two great friends in their tony digs near the Castro. Unlike other visits, this trip was very much about entertaining at home, which was appropriate for the holidays (as well as for the really crappy weather we had), so the visit wasn’t a booze-fueled bar crawl like a holiday at home would have been. Instead, it was a bit like living everyday life in the city, if you lived there and didn’t need to have a job (which is my dream).
I don’t need to recount the obvious joys of San Francisco, mosey out there and check it out yourself. While certainly gentrified to the gills in its post-dot-com way, it still maintains vestiges of it’s boho charm. Reports of an invasion by the stroller set notwithstanding, the Castro remains a thriving and vibrant gayborhood (if quite a bit more upwardly-mobile than my first visit fifteen years ago). It’s literally gay people everywhere you go, an experience I always find a little jarring at first.
It was great to be around so many gays near my age. In Detroit there is a real tendency for guys in their 30’s and 40’s to stay firmly rooted in the OC, or to leave. There is a bit of a lost generation of gays in the Detroit area, where a large portion of the gays born from, say, 1960 to 1975 have moved on to the gay centers of the country. SF, being one of those centers, has every color of the gay rainbow represented: twinks, hipsters, circuit boys, porn stars, bears, guppies, silver foxes, drag queens, leather queens … you get the idea. Oddly, lesbians aren’t that visible here, just like almost everyplace else I’ve ever lived (except Ann Arbor). I swear, they have a secret network of burrows so they can move around unseen.
Near the end of my stay I heard a few stories from long-time residents about how the city was ten, fifteen, twenty years ago. The large beautiful park in the fancy neighborhood my friends live in used to be a haven for drug users and gay cruising.
Buena Vista Park is now for doggies, not druggies or daddies.
In the same area very nice homes used to be quite rundown. One guy related a story about passing on buying a building that now houses three expensive condos because he thought it was far too expensive at $300k ten years ago. And of course there are the stories like the NY Times article linked above that depict with a rosy hindsight the glory days of neighborhoods like the Castro or Haight-Ashbury and lament the romance and excitement of those places that is lost now that they've been Starbucked.
Detroit could be said to be in that place right now, and I think people need to start thinking about that. There will be a time when there will be a Starbucks on every corner and we’ll talk with a dreamy look in our eyes about the great community that thrived at Café de Troit, where it seemed like everyone you met was making something happen in town. Lower Cass will get the Ilitch touch and we’ll laugh about the days of dodging crack whores and roosters on our way to Honest John’s. Corktown will turn into Birmingham and we’ll actually miss all those hipsters and Terry-oke at LJ’s.
Let’s keep pushing for progress in town, but don’t forget to appreciate what we’ve got. Detroit is in a really unique place in time right now. Have fun and take advantage of it, because someday we’ll be talking about it like people talk about the Castro or New York City in the ‘70’s. And won’t it be nice to say you actually were a part of it, instead of just a bystander?
Monday, December 31, 2007
Mistletoe Madness
In a world bound by tradition …
Where beauty is measured in the size of one’s trust fund and plaid rules men’s fashion …
Where outsiders are silently judged and fine dining options are defined by the choice between the grill room and the dining room …
It is a world few can infiltrate, and even fewer escape. It is up to one man to enter and return to tell the tale.
This is the story of that man.
Where beauty is measured in the size of one’s trust fund and plaid rules men’s fashion …
Where outsiders are silently judged and fine dining options are defined by the choice between the grill room and the dining room …
It is a world few can infiltrate, and even fewer escape. It is up to one man to enter and return to tell the tale.
This is the story of that man.
OK, hi, melodrama, but I did recently have an exciting and adventurous foray into the heart of old Grosse Pointe.
"Mistletoe Magic" is a formal holiday party held at the old money Country Club of Detroit in Grosse Pointe Farms. It’s a highly anticipated annual event that draws primarily Grosse Pointe twenty-somethings for an evening of preppy holiday cheer, and by that I mean booze (Grosse Pointers love their hooch). I was invited by a new friend, whom we’ll call Trip. He’s been a really good sport about being dragged to events all over downtown lately, so I could hardly decline his gracious invitation (despite my concerns about being an outlier on the demographic bell curve of the evening).
Full disclosure: I was raised in Grosse Pointe, and while not necessarily to the manor born, I concede I bought into the preppy thing back in the eighties (hey, who didn’t?). I even took The Preppy Handbook seriously for a few years in my youth, parody being a little beyond me at age 13. By the time I graduated from high school, however, I was ready to head to the east coast seeking places with urban character and an environment where I could come out of the closet and be part of a gay community. (I suppose in fairness I should note that I was fleeing Michigan in general as much as GP, but GP was home). Grosse Pointe had come to represent an inward-looking, insular place to me, and I was looking for a more cosmopolitan and diverse world.
In recent years I’ve mellowed on my aversion to Grosse Pointe. I like how GP’ers tend to have a connection to downtown Detroit and aren’t afraid to drive in for social, professional and cultural events. And now that I’m older and I’ve got friends with children, it’s turned out to be the landing spot for some awesome people who grew up there, moved on to live the world, and have returned to roost. But it is still a very unique and, sure, strange place at times. As was evidenced by this party.
Next to the ivy under that tree to the left is a good spot to make out.
The Country Club of Detroit has a beautiful rambling English estate-style clubhouse, and the party took over the entire place. Most guests were GP kids in their twenties, with a smattering of parental types operating as, I am assuming, chaperones (the parent aspect being a very effective tool in a town where everyone grew up together).It was actually just like every movie you’ve seen about privileged youth, but not in a creepy “Less Than Zero” way and more in a benign “Pretty in Pink” way. You could not have made up the fashions, which were of course tuxedos for boys and eveningwear for girls.
The young women of GP have their own style, less influenced by contemporary fashion than you might expect, certainly somewhat conservative, but really fun in its quirky way. While most were able to pull it together, there was a somewhat chronic problem of shoes not working with the dresses. But what GP really needs is someone to come in and educate on hair and makeup – it doesn’t need to be Birmingham glam, but the concept of layering could revolutionize the overall aesthetic of Grosse Pointe. This is a problem that transcends generational boundaries, by the way.
Speaking of, it was the gentlemen of the older generations who really stepped out with the preppy formalwear. Holiday plaids and cardinal red were in fine form on the males who weren’t necessarily looking to score that night.
No cell phones allowed so I had to sneak these pics.I have no idea how many other gay people might have been there (ok, I know of one because he grabbed Trip's ass). Truth be told, GP guys can be a little effete. It’s just the way they’re raised. Tennis, yachting and golf are all acceptable sports for teenage boys, so there is less of that macho bullshit that gets bandied about by traditional sporties. And if you decide to avoid sports altogether, there’s really no stigma. Bust out with theater or chorale, you can still go to the cool parties. It’s really quite nice, although probably a big reason the Grosse Pointe Gay phenomenon goes relatively unquestioned.
So obviously Trip and I had a hassle-free evening, and even managed to sneak off for a little making out. Although come to think of it, even if someone had a problem with the gays they wouldn’t make a big deal of it to our face – it’s just not the Grosse Pointe way.
GP is probably not an acceptable landing spot for a fully-actualized gay man in the new millennium - it’s just a little too much about living a very specific lifestyle (and thanks, but I’m busy with the one I’ve already got). It sure is nice for a visit, though. It’s pretty. Everyone is fun and likes to booze. And sometimes you can score with your friend’s dad.
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